When Respect Loses Its Grace
We all seek respect, but not everyone earns it with grace. We pursue recognition within our communities in different ways. A few rise beyond the local sphere to achieve celebrity status. A minority among them lose their bearings when confronted with adulation. Others, who may struggle even for local recognition, sometimes stoop to gaining notoriety by abusing or demeaning those around them. I was once attending a literature festival in Pune. A celebrated actor from the seventies, immensely popular in his time for portraying shy, middle-class young men, was on stage for the launch of his book. When the time came to sign the steeply priced copies, he put on a face mask. It might have been due to health concerns related to age. Yet, the eager audience posed for photographs with a masked man who, for all they knew, could have been anyone. I also joined the queue for his autograph, and, smiling, spoke a few words about how he had been a role model in our youth. He did not even look up. I was curtly brushed aside.
On another occasion, during a flight, I found myself unable to place a face which appeared familiar. The woman sat with a mostly grumpy expression throughout the journey. Passengers kept approaching her, some merely to look, others to request selfies. Her stern countenance was enough to chill the air around her. She is a young star, widely known for playing chirpy, smiling characters on screen. I could not help wondering whether she was acting in real life, or only in her films.
I contrast these experiences with another encounter a few months earlier. On a flight from Mumbai to Kochi, a man seated across the aisle did not initially strike me as familiar. Yet people repeatedly came from other sections of the aircraft to speak to him and request photographs. He obliged everyone with a warm smile, even patiently waiting while a young man rushed back to fetch his little daughter for a picture.
Curious, I asked for an introduction. He humbly mentioned that he was a Member of Parliament, and, more modestly still, that he also worked in the South Indian film industry. At Kochi, a bus was waiting to take him to the terminal. Despite security protocols, he invited my wife and me to join him. Inside the arrival hall, a young woman with a toddler greeted him warmly. She beamed as the elderly actor waved at them. Surprised by the age difference, I casually asked the woman if she knew who he was. Still smiling, she promptly mentioned his name. The gentleman is a well-known figure in both contemporary national politics and cinema.
These encounters led me to think of another set of people, many of our neighbors. There would be nothing wrong with their aspirations for recognition, if these were not sought by belittling others or asserting dominance through petty hostility. One can only wonder what lessons they are passing on to the next generation. Perhaps celebrity, in its truest sense, has little to do with fame or public recognition, and much to do with conduct. For those who watch us closely - children, neighbors, strangers sharing a flight - our everyday behavior becomes a quiet performance that leaves a lasting impression. Masks may protect faces, but they also conceal character. In the end, it is kindness, humility and grace that endure, long after applause fades and names are forgotten.
Sanjay Chandra, founder of Kala - Krazy About Literature And Arts, is an author, speaker, coach, arbitrator, and strategy consultant; views are personal
