Nurturing the minds and hearts of our children
It is so saddening to hear about the recent child suicide. This incident should come as a wake-up call. And this is not an isolated instance. This is a widespread issue all over the globe, especially in developed nations and metropolitan cities. According to a recent statistic, every 45 seconds, one person takes their life. It is so painful even to know this.
We need to improve the quality of life of our students. Just look at children when they are in nursery school or kindergarten - there is so much joy, happiness, and celebration in their lives. But as they grow older and go to high school, do you observe these same qualities in them? Do they grow in joy and bliss, or are they moving towards unfriendly behaviour, frustration, agitation, and dullness? Is this what we are doing to our children? Are we spending so much money only to bring suffering upon them?
We need to bring about an atmosphere of friendliness. I usually ask kids how many friends they have in their classroom, and they can count on their fingers. I tell them, “Hey, come on! In a classroom of 30 kids, if you are not friendly with everybody, and in a school of 500 children or 1000 kids, if you are not friendly with everyone, how are you going to live in this world with 8 billion people?” This attitudinal change we have to bring.
It’s normal to feel lonely at times. You know, loneliness is not only for some people. Even those who have riches, those who have good family connections, have a girlfriend or boyfriend. In spite of having a very happy family, people still face problems. People still get depressed. Why? Because we have not learned to understand our own mind, our own emotions.
Lack of spiritual awareness causes suicidal tendencies. Suppose the clothes you are wearing feel too tight, what do you do? You feel like tearing them off and getting out of them. Similarly, when our subtle body contracts - when the subtle body starts shrinking - one begins to feel sad. When it shrinks more, you start feeling uncomfortable and depressed. And when it shrinks even further, you just want to jump out of the body. You feel like committing suicide.
So just medicines alone will not work so much. They may work temporarily, for a short time — that is okay — but in the long run, they cannot address this fully. What works is pranayama, ‘Sudarshan Kriya,’ meditation. All this changes the entire scenario. Anyone with suicidal tendencies should be led to someone who can teach them meditation, who can make them do some breathing exercises, and raise their energy level.
The secret to a happy mind lies in our breath. By controlling the breath, you can become calmer, collect yourself, and remain centred. Techniques like pranayama and ‘Sudarshan Kriya’ help students feel empowered, happy, and become kind and compassionate as they move forward in life. This has to reach every school and every home if we want a happy society. When you meditate, you will feel that difference. All your past scars that have been bothering you will disappear in no time.
Do you see that pain or misery is often due to some feverish hankering or another? The reason for suicide is failure in relationships, failure in jobs, or not being able to achieve what one wants. But life is much more than the small desires that pop up in the mind. The low feeling or depression is often associated with one repeating mantra, which is “What about me?” Shifting the question from “What can I get?” to “What can I give?” expands the mind. Opening one’s vision to a larger goal for the family, for the community, for the country, and for the planet can drive out depression.
Your life is so precious; don’t lose it over someone else’s actions or some small failures. You should value yourself more than anything else in the world, because you are the centre of your world. Know that you are needed, you are useful. You have to do something in the world.
Guiding Teenagers through Confusion, Change and Emotional Turbulence
Dealing with teenagers is not an easy task. They are undergoing biological change; even their mind is in such confusion. So they are not just satisfied with the love of their parents. They start looking for some love from outside — emotional support, a physical pleasure. That’s why I always tell parents, to know your child, you should know their friend circle. You can influence your child by being a good uncle or aunt to their friends.
In one of the youth courses in New Delhi, 1000 youths participated. We asked a question, “Whom do you hate the most?” 80 per cent said their professor, 75 per cent said the second most hated is their parents. It was appalling to see this! We don’t want violence and stress in our education system at any cost. That is why we need to bring moral and spiritual values, ethical values of compassion, friendliness, and love.
But you cannot simply ask children to close their eyes and meditate; it will not work. You have to lead them into meditation through some games or fun activities. That’s why we have the YES and YES+ courses, which are designed especially for teens. These courses have opened up children in such a way that I cannot even describe.
A Teacher’s Energy Shapes the Classroom
Today, a very high percentage of school teachers are depressed. When teachers are depressed, what would they communicate to the students? They transfer only depression! We also need to take care of their mental health. A good teacher needs to have lots of patience. A student may be a slow learner, but the teacher’s patience can turn the student around. Parents may have to deal with only one or two children, but teachers have many more in their classrooms. The situation is more testing and stressful. To handle it, you need to be centred.
Teachers should understand where the student is coming from and how to guide them step by step. For example, Lord Krishna was such a good teacher. He took Arjuna step by step to the final destination. Arjuna was initially very confused. When a student is growing, they go through a lot of confusion because their concepts are breaking apart. You first learn that the sun rises from the east. Then later, you are taught about the planets and their movements. So your concepts break. A good teacher knows this and guides the student through this confusion.
You find teachers who are very loving and teachers who are only strict. It is rather a delicate combination — firmness coupled with love. Some children are rebellious. They need more physical contact, more encouragement, and more pats on the back. They need to be made to feel that they are loved, that you really care for them, and that they belong.
On the other hand, with children who are very timid and shy, you can use a little firmness to help them stand up and speak out. You can be a little tough with them and, at the same time, be loving. Often the reverse is done. Teachers are strict with rebellious children and liberal with shy ones. Then that behaviour pattern stays. You need to be tough and sweet both; otherwise, you won’t be able to guide the student to where you want to take them.
Educating a child should be holistic and not just a process of stuffing their heads with information. Human values like a sense of belonging, sharing, loving and caring, and non-violence need to be cultivated for the sake of the mind and the body. These principles are the basis on which you can start building your idea of human values.
