Galloping on desires
When the wise ones say, ‘Oh, drop the desire!’ it appears to be a very difficult thing to do, isn’t it? And we have heard this again and again, and we have grown tired of it.
We need to develop the right attitude towards desires and understand their nature. Desire simply comes up in you without your consent. It arises in you when you see or hear about someone’s experience too. If someone tells you about their visit to a particular place, you desire to go there as well. It’s normal and natural to have desires. You have desires for perfection; you want everything to be clean, everything to be proper, everything to be the way it should be; and that is okay.
But, in this process of fulfilling your desires, you lose sight of the Self. You don’t lose the Self; you lose sight of the Self. You lose calmness, serenity, contentment; in fact, it is always there, but it appears to have been lost.Once desires have risen in you, how do you handle them? Here, just understanding, contentment and the experience of the Self help you naturally grow out of them.
Desire as Power: What is Iccha Shakti?
Life has three energies: Iccha Shakti, Jnana Shakti, and Kriya Shakti. All living beings are manifestations of this energy and are sustained in it. I am also made of the same energy, and so are you.There is a beautiful symbolism related to these three forces in our ancient texts. Valli, consort of Lord Murugan, represents Iccha Shakti, or desire. Devasena, yet another consort of Murugan, symbolises Kriya Shakti, which is action and effort. And Murugan is Jnana Shakti, which means knowledge.
Iccha Shakti forms the very basis of our existence. Beyond mundane desires of food and shelter, the greatest desire in any being is to be free from bondage. When the desire moves towards the divine, towards the highest knowledge, it is said that Valli, the power of desire, becomes one with Murugan, the power of wisdom.
The Three Levels of Desire
You see, desire comes up on three levels: one is on the bodily level, then on the level of the mind, and then on the level of the intellect.The desire in the body is for food, sex, comfort, sleep-these basic things which every creature has. The body craves food. But sometimes you say, ‘No, I am fasting, I don’t want to eat,’ and the body listens to you. The body goes for sex. Sometimes you say, ‘No, I don’t want to have sex,’ and the body listens to you. Desires on the physical level are not difficult to handle.
But on the level of the mind, even if the body is satisfied, the mind continues to be feverish and restless. The bodily impressions and bodily needs get impressed upon the mind. The mind has restlessness despite getting everything the body needs; you are eating food, and yet the mind is unhappy. Even after having all that, the mind is not satisfied.
Desire on the level of the mind is the worst enemy of a human’s happiness; it is very disorienting. One such desire is the desire for money. When the desire for money enters your mind, it makes you restless and insecure. Restlessness, disorientation, inability to enjoy anything, and craving-all exist at the mind or emotional level. Wanting to earn is not itself bad, but getting restless about it can keep you dissatisfied for a long time.
Desires on the level of the intellect keep you going after them, and they create anger. While desires in the mind also create some anger, the intellectual desire is the real cause of anger. Any anger you have towards anything is because your intellect wants some perfection, some standards that must be met. If that desire is not fulfilled, it creates anger. An egotistic attitude is at the intellectual level.
One needs to attend to the desires of the mind and the intellectual level. But how to handle them without getting into a mess, and how to separate yourself from them? That is a skill, and that’s what yoga is. What do you do in meditation? You move from the intellect to the Self. The Self simply knows; it wins over the intellectual restlessness that is anger, stiffness, and rigidity.
Longing for Freedom: When Desire Brings Liberation
Lord Murugan represents wisdom. He is himself the secret. It is easy to tide over challenges in life when our mind is aligned with the divine, with Murugan. His Vel, or spear, reminds us to be deep-rooted in knowledge, broaden our perspective, and have a sharp intellect. His mount is the peacock, a symbol of the mind. When the mind follows wisdom and is filled with divinity, it dances and is blissful. ‘Pazham Nee Appa’ — you are the fruit — sang poetess Avvaiyar in praise of Murugan, implying that Murugan himself is the fruit of knowledge.
When you have the right desire and knowledge, it has to be followed by action, represented by Devasena. She symbolises Kriya Shakti, or the power of action. The sign of life is activity. However, an action needs to be properly channelled in the right direction. When both our desires and our actions are directed towards the divine, life becomes a celebration! It is alright to increase your desires for the greater good, instead of the trivial things. It is the desire for small things that causes problems. If you have to have desires, ask for the highest, that is, the Supreme Being. Seek to make the whole Universe your own; desire for everyone’s happiness in this Universe. When desires are big, they are no longer detrimental. When you desire truth, when you are committed to truth, the mind becomes calm and clear. Small desires give rise to restlessness, but desire for the highest truth settles the mind. Don’t take this knowledge you have just read lightly. You must contemplate this knowledge. Every time you look into it from an experiential level, something new comes up. You’ll say, ‘Wow! This is what it is! What was I doing? Oh my God! Wow!’
It can create a sense of wonder! Just realising and remembering this one thing: every desire leaves you in the same place where you were before it arose, like a merry-go-round, can help you come out of it. I say, don’t drop the desire, hold on to it-but just know it is a merry-go-round! It’s a horse, no doubt, but it doesn’t take you anywhere. I am not telling you, ‘Get off the merry-go-round.’
No, enjoy the ride for a while. Be on it! Never mind! But see that your goal, or what you set as a goal, is already there where you are. And knowing this brings you serenity, beyond any words or explanation.
