Seeing life through the eyes of compassion
All conflicts arise due to a breakdown of trust and communication. But when people feel understood, they begin to listen, and even the most rigid hearts start to soften. The deeper understanding here is that inside every culprit is a victim crying for help, a sore wound that needs to be attended to. If you make them feel heard and help them heal, the culprit disappears.
We are working with 700,000 prisoners around the world as part of the Art of Living Prisoner Rehabilitation Programme. The transformation in each of their lives is like a novel. In a prison in Denmark, for example, we work with serial offenders, including drug dealers and kingpins. Many of them carried a tough, macho image, but when we practised breathing and meditation with them and simply spent time together, they melted like wax near a flame. Deep within, they all have such good hearts that just need an opportunity to be unveiled.
If you see through my eyes, they are all beautiful people. It is all about understanding, listening, and being compassionate! And compassion is what we are; it is what we are made of. It is not something we demand or wait for someone to demand from us!
Compassion needs two companions with it all the time. One is wisdom, and the other is letting go or detachment. If either of these is lacking, compassion loses its strength. And how can one be compassionate and yet be detached?
Look at compassion through the lens of karma, and then you will not get stuck in the fairness and unfairness of events. Strange are the ways of karma. It is karma that brings people together and separates them. It causes some to be weak and some to be strong. It makes some rich and some poor. The entire struggle in the world, whatever it may be, is the bondage of karma. Karma defies all logic and reasoning. This understanding will lift you out of emotional entanglement and help you in your journey to the Self.
There are two types of compassion here. One is the compassion of the wise, and the other comes out of ignorance. An ignorant person’s compassion is rooted in sympathy for suffering, but the wise see beyond suffering; they see the ignorance that led to certain actions and consequences. Suffering comes because of karma, and if you believe in karma, where is compassion? One reaps the fruit of one’s actions.
Similarly, compassion without detachment is of little use. Think of doctors and nurses. They serve with care, but without getting emotionally entangled. If they became too attached, it would cloud their judgement and affect their well-being. Detachment is what gives them the clarity to serve effectively, especially in critical situations.
Often, people think compassion is an act. Know that compassion is your very nature. In fact, compassion and non-violence are the first principles of human values. Why are we not able to tap into something so basic to us?
This is because we all tend to carry so much anger, prejudice, blame, and regret within us. All of this creates negative vibrations in and around us. It is this negativity that blocks our compassion from blossoming.
Compassion is better than forgiveness
When an event occurs, we do not want to take things as they are; we want to find a reason, label it, and blame either ourselves or someone else. Throughout life, we swing like a pendulum between blaming others and blaming ourselves. Often, we assume someone has intentionally done something to hurt us, and then we try to forgive them.
We do not plan our own mistakes. Most of them stem from a lack of awareness. If you do not plan your mistakes, what makes you think that the other person plans their mistakes? All mistakes are made out of either a lack of awareness or ignorance. When we do not have compassion for someone when they make a mistake, then we will seek revenge. We then become bound to a cycle of negative feelings. Forgiveness shields the mind and spirit from being violent.
But compassion is even better than forgiveness. When you think of forgiving, you normally think of someone as a culprit. When you are compassionate, you recognise the ignorance behind the person’s mistake.
When you are established in knowledge and wisdom, you see the world in a completely different light; you see with compassion. Compassion for yourself and for others, too. If you are hard on yourself, sooner or later, you will project it onto others as well.
Once you detach and let go, your mind stays in the present and becomes more aware. You will also find yourself smiling more and feeling more joyful. When there is clarity in the mind, purity in the heart, and sincerity in action, compassion naturally arises. Spiritual practices can help us nurture these qualities within us.
Have you observed that when someone gives you a compliment, something in you expands, and when someone insults you, something in you shrinks? When you see a puppy, a dog, or even a sunrise or sunset, a sense of beauty and expansion arises in you. Meditation helps us stay in that state of expansion and wonder, irrespective of what is happening around us. When we live in this expanded state, compassion flows naturally.
I was once asked, in an AI-driven world, what makes us truly human. Our love, compassion, and our sense of expression, which come from the inner core of our existence, are very unique to us humans.
We need to ask ourselves: are we at home where we are, or are we living in a very formal world, stuck in formalities? In this process, we lose the juice of life, the sense of belongingness. No one else can do this for us. We need to create a world that belongs to us and in which we belong. Then we realise that compassion does not exist as something separate, because we are compassion. You do not say you are compassionate to your right hand. Why is that so? Because it is very much a part of you.
Remember, whatever is yours will always be yours. Compassion and love are your very nature; these will always remain in you.
