Man is solitary by nature, yet, staying too lonely can lead to a plethora of mental health problems with serious consequences
Man is born alone, with a distinct mind and a distinct body. He has a unique mental frame and bio-chemic composition like none else has. The innate individuality of each person is attested by the impressions of his fingers and eyeballs that do not match with that of any other among eight billion people on earth. That shows that nature has carved out a distinct role for each of us that can be served by using the enormous in-built capacities. Further, the human brain remains the most elusive and intriguing part of the body to the medical scientist because his approach to understanding it is based on empirical, evidenced-based premises. The brain is the seat of thought, which is not only non-material but has ethereal linkages. Kahlil Gibran refers to thought as ‘a bird of space’ that cannot have free play in the cage of formatted mundane settings. This is in line with the Indic belief that man is essentially a tiny divine unit that eventually merges with ‘Parmatma,’ the Creator.
Mankind's landmark achievements and innovations owe to the solitary efforts of individuals with gravitas, and not the mobs of mediocre calibre. It is because one cannot contribute one’s best in the multi-responsibility situation. Yet, the trailblazers, also made of flesh & blood, do not marginalise the multitudes, who need to be kept in a positive frame. It is now fashionable to appreciate the collective efforts of many. “None of us is as good as all of us” proclaimed Raymond Kroc, who through his solitary vision catapulted a fast-food outlet to the mammoth, worldwide food chain of McDonald’s fame we witness today.
Of the two persons from a similar background, health status, economic condition, family responsibility, etc. one is found to be perennially stressed, grumbling, and dissatisfied with the status quo, while the other is generally cheerful, carefree, and flamboyant. Staying carefree is partly instinctive, but the hard truth is, that such a mindset can be acquired by a clear understanding of purpose and training the mind. The same action can have opposite reactions on the two because it is a perception that matters. Men can die of mere imagination. It is our response to a situation that causes suffering and not the situation per se. Not clearing civil services exams, inability to seek admission in desired college or stream after plus two, break in affairs, etc. have led many to become isolated, depressive, and even attempting or committing suicide.
At the same time, there have been others who knew that odds are pathways to beautiful destinations, and turned out to become assets to their family and society. Unfortunately, the thought system most of us have espoused is a corollary of distorted aspirations, convictions, and beliefs. The guiding principle seems to be the hefty bucks one makes in the shortest time, the position & possessions one acquires and the Kudos elicited. In a recent post on Facebook, a friend depicts his son landing in a foreign university; this was followed by about a hundred Wows, Smiles, emojis, comments and thrice that ‘Likes.’ None queried about the course being joined, whether admission was through competition, or own funding, what about his marriage – he has already turned 40, etc. A great task was declared to have been achieved! In yet another message in a WhatsApp group, a lady routinely greets her husband. These very issues are the ones keeping us mostly engaged. Ignorant about the best age for going the family way, newly-weds not opting for issues till the next two career promotions are attained, which may take several years, is also trending. Certain employers, in their interest, provide incentives for not having issues.
Mark that loneliness, depression, or suicidal thinking has nothing to do with one’s social position, material prosperity or popularity. Sometimes being surrounded by everyone is the loneliest. It is the habit of sharing one’s real concerns, manifested in intimate relationships that keeps one mentally and emotionally healthy. Vested interests and apathy towards others are sickening our social fabric. Underscoring that nobody should be denied access to mental health care, the 2023 theme of World Mental Health Day is that mental Health is a Universal Human Right.
Loneliness has already been linked to high blood pressure, depression, heart disease, stroke, and many more. Lack of social connection is stated to be more dangerous than smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and deadlier than obesity. Terming ‘loneliness’ as an epidemic as challenging as hypertension or diabetes mellitus, Dr Vivek Murthy, Surgeon-General USA suggests a three-pronged strategy to combat social isolation: strengthening social infrastructure, controlled use of technology, and re-establishing personal connections. “Our need for human connection is like our need for food and water: essential for our survival,” he concludes in his 85-page report.
The habits & practices uplifting our inner self are the ones – and not the career or material accumulation – that morally and spiritually strengthen us and disable us from being rendered lonely. Developing feelings of gratitude, and regular practice of Yoga and meditation help keep negative thoughts at bay. Joining a club or hobby, volunteering for a cause, dropping unrealistic goals, adopting a pet, gardening, regular rapport with friends, talking to strangers, recognising that things go wrong, treating oneself with respect and helping others in need, can obviate feelings of loneliness. Mind that only a mentally healthy person is enabled to lead a satisfying, meaningful and productive life. Start today, so the television or social media does not become your sole companion.
(The writer is a senior journalist and has worked in several publications; views expressed are personal)
