A simple guide to facing life’s challenges with equanimity
We need to be calm most of all when we are surrounded by problems and life is chaotic. Wisdom is precious in such moments of chaos. Being calm and peaceful when life runs smoothly has no meaning. Being peaceful when everything is peaceful is dull. If we are quiet and peaceful when everything in life falls apart, then that peace has value. A bottle of water has more worth in a desert than when we are surrounded by water. When we sit by a spring, how much value does a bottle of water hold for us?
We need the inner strength to smile when people blame us, when they do not understand. When things do not go the way we want them to, that is when we need the endurance, the strength, and the courage to remain unperturbed. What brings that courage in us is exactly what Lord Krishna said in the Bhagavad Gita: “Samatvam yoga uchyate” (Chapter 2, Verse 48), meaning “equanimity is the test of yoga.”
Lord Krishna shows us the way to become equanimous amidst the seemingly opposing situations in life. Whenever we gain something, whether it is money or fame, we might end up losing some friends. In every gain, there is a loss, and in every loss, there is some gain. People lose half their health to gain wealth, and they lose half their wealth to regain it. Caught up between this gain and loss, they lose their entire life. Time is lost, life is lost; what they have gained till now will also be lost. Lord Krishna says, “Do not worry about winning or losing. Just do your duty.” Our extreme concern for winning and losing weakens us. And a weak person can never win. They can never perform well. Hence, Lord Krishna said, “Be centred and perform.”
Just observe how our minds and emotions flare up for nothing. It creates a mess all around. One moment you are feeling high, another moment you are low. Yoga is the answer to these psychological troubles. “Samatvam yoga uchyate.” Yoga is becoming equanimous and having a stable mind.
It is about being established in the Self. In other words, regardless of a person, object, or situation that comes before us, we do not lose our smile and equanimity. Even if we lose it, it is only momentary, and we instantly regain our composure. Then we can say we are strongly and firmly established in the Self.
To be firmly established in the Self, first we need to accept that opposite values are complementary. For example, night has value when there is day; or peace has value because we have experienced chaos. A film is interesting because there is a hero and there is a villain, is it not? So when you know that opposing values in nature are really complementary to each other, then the mind becomes settled, and equanimity is established. Next is to accept others as they are, because our mind is disturbed by our lack of acceptance of people or situations. It is not people that bother us as much as our own minds. But once we accept, our minds calm down. Then we can take decisive actions. Third is not to become a football of others’ opinions. We need not worry about what others are thinking about us and spoil our minds. In fact, nobody has time to think about others. We need to look within ourselves and see what is right and what is not right for us.
Immersing the mind in this wisdom and remembering these principles again and again brings calmness and stability to the mind. Once the mind is stable (even if it is somewhat stable), it is able to absorb more knowledge.
When the foundation is strong, we can build a 100-storey building. Similarly, to absorb higher knowledge, we need to be established in the basics. And the knowledge of these basic principles releases our mind from being stuck in the outer world and brings it back to itself, so we can rise higher.
The mind stuck in trivial and insignificant things cannot rise higher. We have to retrieve it. Bring back the scattered mind to its own identity, its own source. And to that effect, these principles we discussed above become very meaningful.
Once, my first Vedic teacher, Pandit Sudhakar Chaturvedi, shared an incident about Mahatma Gandhi with me. Mahatma Gandhi’s life companion, Kasturba Gandhi, was on her deathbed. Doctors had given up hope. They said, “Just a few hours are left for her to live.” At that time, Mahatma Gandhi came out of his kutir and told Pandit Sudhakar Chaturvedi, “Please read the verses from Chapter 2 of the Bhagavad Gita for me.” When he recited the shlokas, Gandhi said, “Today is your Bapu’s examination. I will see if I will be able to handle the loss of Kasturba with equanimity.” As he was saying this, tears were rolling down his face. Yoga brings that balance, so that an event does not shatter us.
In moments of utter helplessness, either we get frustrated or we become prayerful. We try to get it done by ourselves, or we turn to our higher self. These are the moments when intense prayer should arise in us. We pray; we cry. We tell the Higher Self or the Divine, “I cannot manage it any more. God, please take care of it. I cannot bear this any more.” This deep, intense cry or prayer relieves us and is good enough for things to start working in our best interest. Prayer and surrender make the mind equanimous.
One step ahead of prayer is to acquire an equanimous vision or to become ‘Samdarshi’ (one whose vision is equanimous) when times are chaotic. For example, when there is an attack on society and we lose our loved ones, it causes a lot of sorrow and fear. If we keep reeling in sorrow, fear, and anger, then life can soon take a turn towards destruction and violence, which benefits no one. But if we want to channelise this energy, if we want to get justice and face the conflict bravely, we need to calm the mind first and cultivate equanimity.
Equanimity is not weakness. Mahatma Gandhi advocated peace, but he did not sit back and allow injustice to happen. Being peaceful, he took action. The essence of the Bhagavad Gita is this: fight with equanimity.
Know that you are not alone. Sometimes we are faced with intense unpleasantness, humiliation, and failures in life. They also go away. Do not get stuck in them. Just move on with a smile and contribute to a greater cause. The ultimate purpose of life is to be of service. Happiness and success both depend on our ability to give back to society. Let us adopt the fundamental 3Cs in life, ie, to see life from a bigger context; commit to a bigger cause, and have compassion in life. When we practise these 3Cs in our lives, we will be able to lead our lives with equanimity.
