Since social mores are not universal but deeply ingrained in local traditions, judging others by our norms is being unfair to them

The episode of the 87-year-old His Holiness the Dalai Lama kissing a young child at an event with the M3M Foundation – the philanthropic arm of Indian real estate company M3M Group, at the Tsuglagkhang temple in Dharamshala, where the Dalai Lama lives in permanent exile – is in news for many reasons. One primary being that people never expected the spiritual leader to ask a child to ‘suck his tongue’, even in the best of his ‘innocent and playful way’, even though sticking out one’s tongue is considered a sign of respect or agreement and used as a greeting in traditional Tibetan culture, as pointed by the Institute of East Asian Studies at the University of California, Berkeley.

One of the world’s best-known Buddhist living figures, the Dalai Lama has hurt many sentiments, with his act receiving widespread criticism, describing this as inappropriate and disturbing. The Dalai Lama immediately regretted the incident in a statement and apologised to the boy and his family, as well as his many friends across the world, ‘for the hurt his words may have caused’.

This brings me to the whole question of social decorum that governs humankind per se. While social decorum and rules and norms that come along with it are important and provide structure and predictability to our interactions with others, it can also present challenges when those rules conflict with our individual desires or values, leaving many feeling constrained or burdened.

The second point here is the whole debate of exchanging greetings with one another. While ‘greeting’ is considered a vital part and first point of social interactions and reflects the culture and tradition of a society, the act of greeting is a universal custom that is deeply ingrained in every culture around the world. It is a way of showing respect, friendliness, and politeness towards others. The way in which people greet each other can vary widely across different countries and cultures, with each society having its own unique customs and traditions. Here are some examples:

In India, people greet each other by saying "Namaste" with their hands folded, showing respect for the other person's inner self or soul. People also touch the feet of their elders as a sign of respect. In Japan, people bow. The depth of the bow depends on the social status of the person they are greeting. A deeper bow is given to a superior or an elder person, whereas a shallower bow is given to an equal or a younger person. Japanese people also have a custom of exchanging business cards, which is considered a formal way of greeting.

Talking about Europe, In France, people greet each other by kissing both cheeks. The number of kisses can vary depending on the region, but two kisses are the most common. It is a way of showing friendship and warmth towards the other person in our neighbourhood in China, people greet each other by saying "Ni hao" or "Hello" in English. Handshakes are becoming increasingly common, especially in business settings. The Chinese people don’t hug or touch during such greetings. Whereas In the Middle East, people greet each other with a series of three kisses on the cheeks. It is a way of showing respect and hospitality towards the other person. It is also common for men to do the same.

Even handshakes are different in different parts of the world. The most common greeting in the United Kingdom is a handshake, particularly in a formal setting. Exchanging pleasantries is another form of greeting. A hug or a kiss on the cheek is what is more acceptable in an informal setting while in Russia, people greet each other by shaking hands, which is firm and vigorous, as compared to Western countries. Russian people also have a custom of greeting their friends and family members with a kiss on the cheek.

The controversy over the Dalai Lama's tongue-sucking tradition has sparked a debate on ethics and morality too, not to deny that tongue sticking, as a sign of greeting and respect, is deeply ingrained in Tibetan culture. However, it is also important to recognize that cultural traditions and practices are not static and can change over time. As societies evolve and become more interconnected, cultural practices and traditions may adapt or disappear altogether. Nevertheless, cultural traditions are an essential part of a society's identity and heritage and they should be preserved and celebrated.

As Canadian writer and anthropologist, Wade Davis once said: "The world in which you were born is just one model of reality. Other cultures are not failed attempts at being you; they are unique manifestations of the human spirit."

We must embrace cultural diversity and recognize the value of each culture's traditions and practices and avoid judging cultural traditions based on incomplete or inaccurate facts but rather seek to understand their full context and significance. It is crucial to approach cultural traditions with an open mind, curiosity, and willingness to learn and appreciate the diversity of our world. Do we need to be more culturally diversified?

(The writer is Programme Executive, Gandhi Smriti and Darshan Samiti)