Somewhere in the grand script of human relationships, an entire chapter has been written in whispers, behind closed doors, between women who nod in knowing silence. It is a chapter that speaks of hot flashes and mood swings, of fatigue that seeps into the bones and emotions that rise like tidal waves.
This chapter is titled ‘Menopause’ — and, quite conspicuously, it has very few male readers. Menopause is still a largely private, female conversation. Men are so often kept outside its boundaries, or worse, they willingly exclude themselves from it. Pray tell us, why. The answer, like many things woven into cultural conditioning, lies in a mix of ignorance, discomfort, and a longstanding belief that women’s bodily changes are theirs alone to endure. But therein lies the irony.
Menopause is not just about women. It is about marriages, relationships, workplaces, and families. It affects dynamics beyond the woman experiencing it, yet men remain unversed in its realities. In a world where gender parity is a constant conversation, how is it that a physiological transition that impacts half the human race remains a blind spot for the other half? Why is menopause rarely spoken about between husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, fathers and daughters? How many men, I wonder, can truly claim to understand what menopause entails beyond the cursory knowledge that it marks the end of a woman’s reproductive years?Menopause is not merely a biological event, it is a seismic shift in a woman’s body and mind. It brings with it a cascade of symptoms — sleepless nights, brain fog, anxiety, depression, and a sense of alienation from one’s own body.
It is unpredictable. It is relentless. It is often endured in silence because the world around her, particularly the men in her life, do not know how to engage with it. I presume the exclusion of men from the menopause conversation is not a deliberate conspiracy, but a result of years of social conditioning. Men have not been encouraged to ask, to understand, or to offer support. Women, on the other hand, have not always felt comfortable sharing, either out of a sense of resignation or out of fear that their struggles will be met with awkwardness or dismissal. It is not uncommon for a woman battling the emotional and physical toll of menopause to hear her distress being brushed aside with phrases like, “It’s just a phase,” or “Everyone goes through it.” This is not because men are inherently indifferent, but because they have not been made a part of the narrative.
They have not been equipped with the language to empathise, nor have they been told that their understanding could make a profound difference. Imagine a world where men are as attuned to menopause as they are to pregnancy.
Imagine a world where fathers talk to their daughters about it, where husbands don’t just tolerate but actively support their wives through it. Imagine a workplace where male bosses recognise that a sudden drop in performance could be due to menopause — induced fatigue rather than incompetence. Such a world is possible, but it requires a shift, a willingness to break the silence and bring men into the fold. The question, then, is how do we bridge this gap? How do we make menopause as much a men’s issue as it is a woman’s? The first step is to talk — boldly, openly, and without embarrassment. Women must shed the fear of being seen as weak or hysterical and share their experiences candidly. Men must listen, not with the intent to ‘fix’ but to understand. Schools must incorporate menopause education alongside puberty discussions.
Workplaces must foster policies that recognise its impact. And most importantly, society must stop treating menopause as a women’s private burden and recognise it as a life stage that affects families and communities as a whole. Menopause is not a disease. It is not an aberration. It is as natural as adolescence and just as transformative. And yet, the world gives it none of the space or respect it deserves. It is time for that to change. It is time for men to step forward, not as mere bystanders, but as allies in a journey that every woman — wife, mother, sister, friend — will inevitably take. For too long, menopause has been spoken of in hushed tones, if at all. But silence can never be a remedy for understanding. Conversations, however, have the power to change and improve lives. Let us start this one today.
(The author is a Dubai-based columnist and writing coach. Views expressed are personal)
