When the good you do makes you miserable
You don't get mango by sowing the seeds of neem. As you sow, so do you reap
While it is easy to repent bad deeds, good deeds can make you miserable too. Good deeds don't automatically uplift you. Your intention, attachment, expectation, ego, and the state of mind behind the action determine whether the deed brings you joy or misery.
Even when you do charity, sometimes you may feel that your good deeds went unnoticed. 'I did such wonderful things, but nobody recognises them. There is no appreciation for them.' This is a usual complaint. This need for recognition, for one's good deeds, can cause misery. In the Narada Bhakti Sutras, Narada advises taking a break not just from activity but also from expecting the fruit of that activity. It brings deep rest from doubts, conflicts, and misery. One who isn't concerned about the outcome and is focused on the action goes beyond dualities, beyond conflicts. The wise one is beyond all actions. Yet they continue to engage themselves in action for the benefit of the world.
You have some expectations when you perform good actions. This expectation becomes a source of misery. Even when a good deed happens through you, you must remind yourself that it is the divine who has put you in a scenario where you got the opportunity to do a good deed. That is why it is said, 'The giver must be thankful.' When someone gives something, and it is accepted, the giver must be thankful. The thought is, "I have been given the role of a giver; that is itself a great blessing.'
Another type of complaint that often comes from people who do good work is, 'I did such good deeds yet see what has happened to me.' That is why the saying is, neki kar, kuwein me dal (Do good deeds and throw them in the well.) You shouldn't even remember that you have done it. Otherwise, you might end up miserable, thinking, 'I have done this and that for so many years, but people who have benefited don't recognise me anymore in my rainy days.' Just remember, you must have done some good in the past, so you got to serve, and you have done it.
Doubts about your positive actions also cause misery. These doubts come up when you see people who do harmful things get rewarded by society. But I tell you, it only appears like that because you see events through a very narrow lens. You only need to expand your awareness. These so-called bad people must have done something good in their past lives, and they reap good results now. You have done so many things in so many lifetimes, and they all have repercussions.
Similarly, those who do good, if something bad happens to them, know that, knowingly or unknowingly, they must have committed some wrong in the past. You don't get mango by sowing the seeds of neem. As you sow, so do you reap.
People don't experience misery because of their goodness. You have to use your intelligence and awareness before any action. If someone says, 'I am very good and noble', and then they put their hand in the fire, they are bound to get burnt. You should also have a presence of mind and use your intelligence before you act.
To free yourself from the results of past actions, you should regularly do our sadhana or spiritual practices (practices like meditation, breathing, Sudarshan Kriya, chanting, singing.) When you see the results of your actions from a bigger perspective, great inner strength dawns within you, and you can smile through any situation.
Everyone goes through tough times. And those who do good also go through their own share of challenges. Plenty of obstacles can come your way when you set out to do some good work in society. A committed mind may at times experience rough weather, but it will reap the fruits of its toil. Tough times beckon you to put your skills into action. Trying times bring the best out of you. Rewarding times gives you the best of the world. Miseries in life bring you some depth. Life is a combination of both. We need to make use of every situation, whether good or bad, to your advantage. That is intelligence. Wisdom from past experiences; engaging in spiritual practices; invoking the valour within, and keeping one's faith help us sail through the rough patches of life.
Your goodness can also fuel your ego and become a source of misery. When you think you are very good, then you somehow feel others are not as good. When you find others aren't good, you definitely become no good yourself. When you find that you are right, everyone else becomes wrong in your eyes. It is a very delicate balance.
On the other hand, the feeling that you are not as good as others or that you lack something is also part of your ego and is equally destructive. 'Everyone else is right. Only I am always wrong. Nobody loves me. Nobody understands me.' These types of thoughts are not helpful. Instead, create space for all types of opinions and feelings:' I am right, and so is everyone else. Everyone is right in their own way.'
Despite all this, you cannot stop doing good in society. In fact, you cannot exist without performing some action. Your body organs are serving you even when you are asleep.
Your first and foremost commitment is to do seva in the world. When you make the service your sole purpose in life, it eliminates fear, brings focus in your mind, purposefulness in action, and long-term joy. When you do seva, it brings naturalness and human values back in society; it helps in building a society that is free from fear and depression.
If you have the desire to serve and help others, you don't have to worry; your needs will be taken care of. Your life is not a big responsibility for the Divine. It can take care of you very well. Don't be concerned and worried about money or other resources so much. They'll all come. Be filled with love, be filled with gratitude, get rid of the fear in you by being in love.
When you do something which benefits others, it should be cherished, it should humble you and inspire you to do more, instead of making you proud or arrogant. Because you are not really the doer. Simply offer your negative as well as positive deeds and qualities to the divinity. Keep a smile on your face, serve, and immerse yourself in knowledge. Then, no misery will be able to touch you.
