Social media is a tool to make life more connected and interesting, it is not a measure  to judge worth and success of family and friends

Ever since social media sneaked into our lives, we have made it a shelf to display our lives’ wares. We paint our digital walls with milestones, memories, smiles, and sorrows. It’s a vibrant collage of life’s varied hues, yet what we post is often a curated version of reality. The smiles are brighter, the love is deeper, the vacations are grander, and the heartbreaks are more dramatic. But behind this veneer of filtered perfection, the raw and unfiltered truth often lurks quietly, hidden from the world’s gaze.

For a month, I posted pictures from my holiday—pristine landscapes, cheerful meals, and stylish getups—giving the impression that I was the happiest and luckiest person on earth. From the outside, it looked like life was a seamless tapestry of joy and contentment. But behind each post was a personal battle being waged in silence. While my timeline radiated unbridled joy, I was working on myself to remedy a tough health challenge. Why did I choose to post happy pictures when my reality was tumultuous? Was I pretending? Was I seeking validation? No. I was trying to reassure myself. I was reminding myself that happiness exists, that moments of beauty and joy still punctuate my life. Those posts were not deceit; they were lifelines. Glimpses of joy that I clung to as I navigated the storm within. And in sharing those moments, I was also hoping to pass on slivers of hope to others who might be fighting unseen battles. This is the duality of social media.

The laughter we see might be tears in disguise. The grand celebrations could be cloaked in anxiety. The tears shed publicly may be crafted for effect. What appears authentic can be artifice; what looks carefree can be layered with burdens. This is why we should not judge others based on what we see on their profiles. Why do people disguise their struggles and present happy pictures? It’s not necessarily deceit or a desire to mislead others.

Sometimes, it’s a way of keeping hope alive. When life’s challenges weigh heavily, projecting happiness can feel like a self-fulfilling prophecy. By sharing joy, even when it feels out of reach, we try to manifest it. We tell ourselves that happiness is not an illusion—it’s around the corner and within our grasp. We also do it for others. Social media can be a dark and overwhelming place filled with negativity, comparison, and distressing news. By sharing moments of beauty, love and humour, we offer small doses of positivity to those who might need them. But herein lies the trap. When we view others’ lives through the glossy lens of social media, we risk falling into the pit of comparison. We measure our own lives against the seemingly perfect lives of others and wonder where we went wrong.

We feel envious, resentful, or inadequate. But this comparison is unfair—because it’s based on incomplete information. What you see on social media is a highlight reel, not a documentary. To compare your behind-the-scenes reality to someone else’s carefully chosen highlights is to set yourself up for needless suffering. So, how should we approach social media with clarity and kindness? First, partake in others’ happiness without envy. Celebrate their joys as you would want them to celebrate yours.

Let their happiness be a reminder that good things are possible, even if they haven’t yet arrived in your life. Second, lend support in difficult times without judgment. If someone shares their struggles, resist the urge to undermine or dismiss them. Behind their words could be a pain far deeper than what they’ve expressed. Offer empathy, not assumptions. Be the steady presence that reminds them they’re not alone. Finally, take social media for what it is—a tool to make life more connected, more interesting and occasionally more fun. It’s not a measure of worth, success, or happiness.

(The author is a columnist and writing coach based in Dubai. Views are personal)