Cultivate understanding among young ones and help them conquer anxiety

Is your child suffering from expressing worries or negative thoughts; frequent crying or emotional reactivity; clingy behaviour or difficulty in separating? Well if yes, then these are the signs of anxiety.

In the words of Catherine M. Wallace “Listen earnestly to anything your child wants to tell you, no matter what. If you do not listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they will not tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.”

In one of the recent studies, it has been found that 20% of the population especially the children and the youth is extremely sensitive. Aggressive, demanding or controlling behaviour, chronic headaches, and being seemingly distracted are classic signs of anxiety. Anxiety manifests in many ways and an individual needs to show up. One should not make a mountain out of a molehill. It is easy to get caught up in the small things but catastrophising often just makes the situation worse. Every parent should understand how hard it is for their child and other children falling off this prey to cope and at the same time it is the need the families to be both firm as well as flexible so that it is a safe space to explore and grow through anxiety for the child as well as themselves.

If the actions performed by the child are safe, one doesn’t have to fix their anxiety. The anxiety is not the problem or a sign of breakage but the response to the anxiety is the problem. Instead of minimising their feelings, blaming or criticising for their anxiety, one should pay attention to their child’s feelings and concerns without judgement, provide them with verbal and physical reassurance and establish a consistent daily routine with them to nurture their well-being. When the child seeks reassurance, make sure that one does not get stuck in the loop of constantly reassuring them, instead reassuring once is sufficient as the goal is to have them learn to live with some uncertainty.

Simultaneously, it should be the duty of parents to speak to the school about providing various options so that their child does not feel trapped in the classroom and tries to enjoy the company of other classmates.

At the same time, parents should also teach their children that they have a battery inside of them which runs out faster than other children. The key is to be empowering the little ones to conquer anxiety and understanding how to support them makes all the difference.

Remember, one should not confuse calm, confident and well-behaved behaviour with quiet, hypervigilant and anxious kids. Many of them are struggling in silence. Encouraging the child to manage anxiety is like building a tower, one block at a time. It is a step-by-step approach that will make the child feel less anxious. It should not matter how long this takes, or how small the steps are. What matters is the experience, and that they do not feel negated in the experience.

(The writer is an educator; views are personal)