If only one takes oneself seriously, s/he would happily be simple, straightforward and honest. It would also give one the capacity to understand the truth

Everyone experiences life. Over the years, every individual has developed connect, some are cherishable others would be better forgotten. We all believe we deserve better. The list of experiential attribute, common to all human beings, can be a lengthy one. What distinguishes one person from another is his/her ability to interpret experiences and internalise the learning for a more evolved self-conduct. The last two verbs are also almost universal. Experimentally, one could ask anyone if he/she interpreted his/her experiences. The answer would be yes. Ask anyone if he/she learned from this exercise and the answer would be yes. So be it.

For the sake of the narrative, one can move away from self and focus on the other person. Love turns sour, colleagueship in the place of work gets dented and community connects suffer because deep within, one finds the other person to be deficient. Some say it, some don’t. Those who speak about it are almost universally labelled as plain spoken at the mildest and abrasive at the worst. Almost everyone talks of desirability of a feedback and yet, when it is provided, very few welcome it. Results are there for all to see — there is almost a universal disruption of bonds  that once kept couples, families and communities together. The fashionable thing is to talk of social safety nets, self-reliance, universal healthcare and the list can be long. This is far more fundamental and far-reaching today than the effect of disruptive technologies.

The fact of the matter is that greater the distance from one’s given location and technology orientation, more glorious and attractive it seems to the distant vision. Even though a friendly doctor in the neighbourhood has disappeared in certain urban environments, it is possible to dig out connect of some variety with him, be it through school-day relationship of yesteryears. Concurrently, there is a romanticised version of medical care of the so-called industrialised West. Short-term stays in such environment have one set of experiences but longer ones are another matter altogether. Those, who are long-term residents there, have imponderable waiting schedules before they can have an appointment of specialist medical advice. The only step short of that is emergency care. However, the space of medical needs, between emergency care and needing specialist advice, is large. When this is topped up with stringent pharmaceutical regulations governing the sale of over-the-counter medicines (including drugs and medical compositions which one knows to be friendly to one’s body system), life can be a nightmare. This writer is allergic to Kiwi. A decade ago on a visit to Melbourne, he developed high sensitivity on the skin. The narration of what happened next would be seen as a criticism of Melbourne, Australia, or one’s lack of planning and more. That is not intended, however, as they say, it’s another story. Nevertheless, it was a challenge to find a suitable antidote.

The theme of this writing is essentially, to keep things simple. One might ask: Is being truthful so difficult? Is taking care of the assurances one gives, so elusive? Is honouring one’s word so difficult? The answer to these questions may raise a whole school of philosophy, much gyration and even ridicule. One is left wondering: If by a process of evolution, certain parts of the world, by definition, are only capable of dealing with each other with a ruse of facades. When they converse among themselves, they keep making statements which they know are not true, or hold out assurances being fully aware of the infeasibility of whatever they are proposing. The amazing part is that this is lauded by some as ‘being diplomatic’. One fails to see how calculated inaccuracy and worse could pass off as diplomatic.

The message is as simple as the writing on the wall. If one took oneself seriously, one would happily be simple, straightforward and honest. That would give him/her the capacity to receive the truth, deliver with conviction and contribute to a sense of gross happiness or at least help diminish disillusionment. Communication would also be authentic. Perhaps, one deals with facades and almost develops deftness in it because of the limited ability of individuals to receive the truth. A constant urge of wanting to come across others better and more glorified than they actually are, is destructive. Realistically, it’s easy to see how one can trip up oneself, it’s equally plausible to be kind to oneself and accept the facts of one’s life just as one accepts one’s height, place and year of birth. These are things nothing to brag about or to be embarrassed for. One way of alleviating pain is to keep things simple. There can be no substitute for integrity of thought and delivery.

(The writer is a well-known management consultant)