About the Book
Book: Not Before You
Author: Lata Gwalani
Publisher: Vishwakarma Publication
Paperback: 216 page
Price: Rs 325
Lata Gwalani ‘Not Before You’ reveals the emotional depth and challenges of a family with a differently-abled child
Not Before You by Lata Gwalani is a layered story that explores different facets of human emotions and accompanying family dynamics. It is the story of a mother’s angst as she faces the reality that her first-born son is differently-abled and would not survive long. The story also explores the fragile balance of the family, as the other two members – the father and the second child, a normal daughter, deal with the situation in their own way, which does not include a caregiver role for the child.
Jaya works in the media. A chance meeting with Suraj who runs his Yoga Ashram, culminates into romance, and marriage. Their joy soon turns into despair when they realise that the child, Nikhil, is different. The diagnosis after several visits to the doctors shatters them. In time, they have a daughter, Divya, who is normal. Jaya is determined to care for son till the end. Suraj takes refuge by escaping from reality. Divya is traumatised as she does not understand the reason for her mother spending more time with her brother to her exclusion. She also wants her mother to cuddle and care for her the way she sees her caring for Nikhil or the way the mothers of her friends care for their children. She continues to fight her demons even as an adult. She also blames her mother for the missing father. The mother bears it stoically.
Years pass. Jaya retires from her professional responsibilities. She realises with dismay that she is not getting any younger. She is not invincible. She is worried about Nikhil if she passes away before her son. She is willing to go to the extremes to ensure that the young man, who has been bedridden since birth, does not suffer if she dies before him. She is a mother who wants her son to die first. She is not certain if the two other people who matter to her, Suraj and Divya, would support her.
Almost 8 million children in India live with disabilities. The first thought that runs through our minds is a silent prayer to the supreme being that our children lead a normal life, and then a sympathy towards the parents. We do not pause and reflect upon the sentiments of the affected parents. Lata shows us the mirror to do just that. It is a sensitive subject beautifully handled by her. There are short references to Yama, the God of death, looking down upon this unique mother and bowing to her wishes to not die before the child. These passages do not interrupt the flow of the story, but could have been avoided. This is a book that teaches us the meaning of empathy. Lata Gwalani has a career spanning three decades in journalism and behavioural training. She is a renowned speaker on Emotional Intelligence and Leadership. Latauncovers captivating tales in the mundane and has published three works.
About the Reviewer
Sanjay Chandra is an author, speaker and strategy consultant who writes for The Pioneer and The Hindu. His novels include Behind Closed Doors (2023), The Gymnast (2022) and The Life and Times of a Common Man (2019). He lives in Gurugram and connects with readers through his website and social media. Sanjay loves to interact with readers through his email sanjaychandra59@gmail.com, his website www.authorsanjaychandra.com and various social media handles.
