Touch is the first sense we develop and one that shapes our lives in profound ways. It connects us to each other, fostering love, compassion and resilience

We have read the story of five blind men and the elephant. Each man touched a part and described the animal differently. They would have correctly visualised the pachyderm if they also had sight. There is no denying that all five senses combined define how we live from birth to death.

The absence of any will make us feel incomplete. Touch is probably foremost. Scientists say touch is the first of the senses we develop. It is not a single feeling. It consists of several distinct sensations communicated to the brain through neurons in the skin. Touch plays an important role in shaping us. It also conveys compassion from one human to another.

My earliest memories were those of my parents, their friends, or elders from the extended family, patting and even pinching my cheeks. I do not remember patting the cheeks of my younger siblings, probably because they came in quick succession, within three years of my birth. However, the emotions of my parents holding me in joy and pain alike will forever remain with me. I also recall the happy gurgling sounds of my younger cousins as I patted or tickled them.

The feeling I had as I held my fiancé’s hand while putting the engagement ring on her finger was different. It gave me a sense of love and belonging to someone for the rest of my life. We got married and in time had children. Touch was important to nurture and cherish our love for each other and the children.

As we held our children close, I could visualise the bliss that my parents might have felt when they held me or my younger siblings. Touch plays an equally important role in grief due to loss. We are so conditioned to the societal norms of engaging the bereaved in an almost endless conversation, that we often forget their need to sit quietly with their thoughts to contemplate the life lived together and mourn the loss. A warm hug is all that the grieving person needs at that moment. I also visit the temple, not often, but occasionally.

A sense of peace pervades me when the priest touches my forehead in blessing. We have heard about the power of healing only through the touch of a saint or even the statue of a revered person. It is the faith people have in the power of touch.

It is not unusual to see people across the globe reaching out to their leaders or stars to touch them and shake hands with them. Leaders and stars also feel connected when they are physically close to people. Leaders from different countries, separated by geographies and language, are also seen hugging each other, indicating friendship and camaraderie. We see sportspersons hugging each other after an achievement. It motivates them to perform better. COVID left us feeling bereft of several human emotions. Many lost their lives away from their loved ones. Both, the dead and those who survived missed the familiar touch.

There were unanswered questions in everyone’s mind. We were afraid of the unknown future. We did not know if touch, the most elementary of our senses that defines our personality, would be a thing of the past for future generations. We faced the unthinkable feeling of living and dying in the sterile ‘Don’t Touch Me’ environment of social distancing.

Touch keeps us alive. It imparts within us the ability to love and be loved. Emily Dickinson wrote in one of her poems, almost two centuries earlier. “He touched me, so I live to know… And now, I’m different than before.”

(The writer is  an author, speaker, coach, arbitrator and strategy consultant. He conducts workshops on creative writing for young adults and corporate executives.; views are personal)