Whether it’s self-doubt at work or struggles in relationships,  the roots often trace back to unresolved childhood wounds

Have you ever wondered why life keeps pulling you back, no matter how hard you try to move forward? Maybe you find yourself repeating the same mistakes in relationships, doubting your abilities at work, or battling the constant ache of “not being enough.”

It’s easy to blame bad luck or personal failure. But often, these struggles run deeper—in unresolved childhood wounds. Childhood is when we learn how to love, trust and value ourselves. But not all childhoods are built on safety and support. Even seemingly small moments can leave deep scars.

A parent saying, “Stop crying, you’re embarrassing me,” or a teacher comparing you to someone else may seem insignificant at the time but can shape how we see ourselves for years to come. Take Radhika, for example. At 35, she thrived in her career but couldn’t maintain a relationship. Every time someone got close, she would pull away, convinced they would leave her eventually. Therapy revealed that her fear of abandonment stemmed from her father leaving when she was six. Her emotional walls weren’t about keeping others out; they were about protecting herself from feeling that pain again. Then there’s Arjun, 28, who struggled to hold a job. His pattern was predictable: procrastinate, miss deadlines and eventually lose the role.

He believed he lacked discipline, but therapy uncovered a deeper truth. He had grown up under relentless criticism—nothing he did was ever good enough. That internalised voice followed him into adulthood, leading him to self-sabotage before anyone else could judge him. These aren’t isolated stories. Many of us carry invisible wounds from our childhood.

A parent’s absence, constant comparisons, or even a single harsh word can create emotional patterns—fear of intimacy, perfectionism, or shrinking ourselves to avoid rejection. Over time, these patterns create setbacks that seem external but are deeply internal. Therapy is where this cycle ends. It’s not about blaming our parents or reliving the past. It’s about understanding why we feel stuck and learning how to let go of the pain. Imagine carrying a heavy bag for years, thinking it’s just part of life—then discovering you can put it down. That’s what healing feels like.

One client described the process beautifully: “For the first time, I understand myself. I’m not broken. I’ve just been carrying pain I didn’t know was there.” Your setbacks aren’t failures; they’re signals that something inside you needs attention. Healing childhood wounds allows you to stop reacting from a place of fear and start living from a place of freedom. It’s not an easy journey, but it’s one worth taking. The truth is, you deserved love and safety as a child, and you still do now.

Healing isn’t about erasing the past—it’s about reclaiming your future. If this resonates, consider giving yourself the gift of therapy. You’re not broken—you’re healing.

(The writer is a Life Coach; views are personal)