At the end of the day, it's important not to lose sight of one's own moorings. If, in the blind pursuit of fame and money, we ignore our social moorings, I am afraid that there may be many similar Peter-Indrani stories waiting to explode. The choice is entirely ours

Who killed Sheena BoraIJ If you have been reading the papers or watching news television, you wouldn’t be blamed for thinking that this question is the most important one that the nation needs an answer for! If you happen to be a part of the ever-growing social media club, you must have come across hashtags like #SheenaMurderMystery, #IndraniMukherjea, #WhoKilledSheena etc. The dust surrounding the exact circumstances that led to the killing of Sheena is still to settle. But in a rather bizarre first, we are being given constant lIVE updates from none other than the Police Commissioner of Mumbai himself about which suspect has said what. But this columnist isn’t a potential Sherlock Holmes. Whodunnit is a mystery which I would rather let the cops solve on their own.

I have been more intrigued by the personal life of Indrani Mukerjea herself. What does it take for an individual to get married the number of times Indrani seems to have doneIJ I have been told by some of my friends that it doesn’t matter how many times one marries! I entirely agree. I have been told that Elizabeth Taylor married seven times and had five kids from them. I have been told that Marilyn Monroe married four times and did have several kids from these relationships. Hell, even Rupert Murdoch had multiple marriages! Did he not marry a woman who many would have described was young enough to be his daughter, if not a grand daughterIJ Not for a moment am I questioning the right of an individual to marry, separate, remarry, separate again and perhaps remarry again. I am thinking about the motive for each of these marriages. It’s in this context that I am trying to look at the riddle that Indrani Mukherjea seems to have become.

On the basis of what has come out so far, she was married thrice. There are some who say that she may have been married five times, while there are others who say that she had three marriages and two relationships other than these marriages. Vir Sanghvi, someone who has worked with Peter and Indrani Mukerjea, has already gone on record claiming that Indrani told him she had been molested by her foster father when she was a teenager. If indeed what Vir is saying is true, and we must be able to accept this at face value, then Indrani surely must have had a disturbed childhood. Is that the reason why, from the age of 16, when she first allegedly ran away from home, till her mid-thirties when she finally ended up with Peter Mukerjea, she was spending her time between multiple marriages and childrenIJ Why would she be getting into these relationshipsIJ Now, before you think I am sitting on some kind of a moral judgement, let me say this: Why would men too wish to get into a marital relationship with someone who gives the impression that she may be willing to move on and not hold onIJ

So, I spent some time over the weekend trying to look at the institution of marriage itself. What does it actually implyIJ What are the motives for a marriageIJ Is marriage about seeking companionship, looking for a witness to your life, lasting love, or is it about sex, money and perhaps a social ladderIJ look at the Vedas. In traditional Hindu households, a wedding is always an elaborate affair. The bride and the groom sanctify their marriage vows while taking seven rounds, around agni (fire ). What that this implyIJ Consider the following:

Noble and respectful to one another; Mutual love and trust;  Sharing sorrows and joys; Fulfillment of spiritual obligations; Begetting noble children; Healthy and peaceful life; True companionship for being life-long friends.

The Yajur Veda has a beautiful description of the institution of marriage. It goes thus:

“Oh man and woman, having acquired knowledge from the learned, proclaim amongst the wise the fact of your intention of entering the married life. Attain to fame, observing the noble virtue of non-violence, and uplift your soul. Converse together happily, living in a peaceful home, spoil not you life.” (5.17, 44)

Even assuming that there may have been court marriages that dispense with these vows, the essence of a wedding is pretty much captured in these lines. Now juxtapose the entire Indrani Mukerjea episode with these noble words. You could well be talking about two different worlds.

I do happen to know someone who had two kids from a failed marriage. The woman went to the extent of putting the children in a boarding school, and thereafter declared herself as their aunt. I ran into the father of the children sometime back. And I was shocked to hear that the woman whom I knew was not their aunt but their mother. As a father of two kids myself, I cannot imagine my wife or me ever looking at our own children as uncles and aunts, even if we were to ever separate.

I think the time has come for all of us progressive liberals to make some distinctions. While we must, of course, protest the midnight raid of Mumbai Police in hotels where consenting adults are catching a few private moments, should we not somewhere also ask questions related to the collapse of marriage as an institutionIJ Many women are indeed subject of domestic abuse. Women have been discriminated against for too long. But this isn’t just about women. Questions must also be asked of men. Are men with their constant prying eyes responsible for the collapse of the beautiful institution of marriageIJ Is the ‘ambition’ of women responsible for marriages now simply being devoid of any kind of puritanism earlier associated with itIJ Or are both men and women such beasts now that, in the process of manipulating each other, they are sullying the institution of marriage itself and putting children to emotional turmoilIJ

At the end of the day, it’s important not to lose sight of one’s own moorings. If, in the blind pursuit of fame and money, we lose sight of our social moorings, I am afraid that there may be many similar Peter-Indrani stories waiting to explode.

(The writer is a senior television journalist)