The lives of widows in the holy city of Vrindavan, associated with the exploits of lord Krishna, have been appalling to say the least. This March, however, they broke the shackles of the past and played Holi with each other. ARADHANA JHA hopes this is not the only step towards improving their lives
Vrindavan in Uttar Pradesh, traditionally the “City of Temples”, has now been apparently rechristened as the “City of Widows” due to refuge sought by thousands of Hindu widows disowned by their families. Old and young, these widows sing hymns in temples in order to earn a livelihood. They have been living in such wretched conditions despite the efforts of the Government and aid agencies to improve their lives. It is estimated that currently 15,000 widows reside in Vrindavan and only few hundreds lead a life of dignity.
Putting up at Vrindavan for decades now, Malti Bhowmick (name changed), who earns her livelihood by seeking alms, recalls how in her youth she was admired and loved by her in laws. “I was loved by one and all and they were fond of my cuisines, especially maach-bhaat. Now I can only cherish those memories,” Bhowmick recalls.
Happiness, however, was momentary for her. “I was blessed with a baby boy after two years of marriage. Unfortunately, he did not live long, leaving me completely shattered. But there were more hardships stored for me. Soon my mother-in-law passed away. And a few months later, I also lost my husband, the lone support of my life. Seeing no light at the end of the tunnel, I left for pilgrimage,” says Bhowmick while preparing for the evening bhajan with other inmates at the Meera Sahbhgini Ashram.
There’s another widow who got married at the tender age of 12 years. By 22, she became the mother of five children. Along with her husband she was into a small family business. At a time when she wanted to enjoy life after marrying off all her children, all hell broke loose. First her husband passed away, and then her children, with their wives, got into routine quarrels with her, forcing the old woman to leave home. Initially, she spent some time at a local temple near Midnapore, but later decided to go to Vrindavan. Once her daughter came looking for her in the city, but she refused to go back.
There are many women who lost their husbands at the tender age of 16 or 17 and have since lived an obscure life, abandoned by their families and awaiting moksha by serving God. Most widows in Vrindavan are from the State of West Bengal. One of the oldest widows (few of them have crossed 100 years) lost her husband when she was 30. Jyoti Ghosh (named changed), now 105, belonged to a very rich family. “While my brother-in-law was a judge, my brother retired after serving a significant administrative post,” says she. Today, she has lost everything and survives on begging her livelihood. For her, the most prized thing today is a besmirched photograph of her late husband posing with a national leader.
The plight of women in Vrindavan came into the limelight when a widow died recently due to lack of funds. This case eventually found its way to the Supreme Court as the National legal Services Authority sought protection and amelioration of problems faced widows in the holy city. The bench issued directions that the widows receive immediate relief, including proper food, regular visit from doctors of the Mathura civil hospital, and homes with adequate sanitation. The court also directed the Union Government to play a pro-active role in the matter and suggested an NGO could be contacted to extend help.
Thereafter, things have improved a bit. The change in the lifestyle of widows in Vrindavan is primarily due to the initiative of Sulabh International, which takes care of two shelter homes where more than 800 widows have been registered. Here their basic needs are taken care of, in addition to Rs2,000 being given every month to each woman. These women are now learning to read and write English, besides getting vocational training in making agarbattis, garlands, etc. These small steps have instilled a sense of security among these women.
This year, however, there have been literally some colours in the life of these widows. This Holi, they played with colours, thanks to Sulabh International founder Bindeshwar Pathak’s efforts. Though age-old social tradition bars widows from playing with colours, this March they broke the shackles of the past and sprinkled gulal (coloured powder) on each other. The spirit of Holi pervaded across the five Government-run shelter homes where Sulabh International has been providing basic facilities to widows. In the past, widows in Vrindavan could only play Holi with Thakurji (lord Krishna).
“In an effort to bring these widows to the mainstream and help their social assimilation, we organised several events to encourage them to participate in Holi celebrations at Vrindavan,” says Pathak, adding the event seems to have brought some amount of attitudinal change in society. “The Vrindavan Holi is an effort to free widows from the shackles of age-old tradition. Not only will they play Holi from now onwards, they will also participate in cultural programmes from time to time,” says a jubilant Pathak.
There is reason why most widows from Bengal come to Vrindavan. Rich and poor widows from the State have for centuries been coming here to spend the rest of their lives because of its links with Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, who is regarded as the founder of the Vaishnavite movement in Bengal. It’s believed that Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, who was born in Nabadwip in Bengal’s Nadia district in 1486, came to Vrindavan in 1515 and established a Krishna temple.
Vaishnavism spread across Bengal quickly and Nabadwip and Vrindavan became spiritual centres for Chaitanya’s followers. For generations, discarded by their families, widows from that State have been turning to Vrindavan for solace and security.
It is believed that Vrindavan had been completely forgotten till it was rediscovered by Chaitanya Mahaprabhu in the 16th century. In 1515, he visited Vrindavan with the purpose of locating the lost holy places associated with lord Krishna. Chaitanya wandered through the forests of Vrindavan and it is believed that through his spiritual powers, he was able to locate all the important places of Krishna’s times in and around Vrindavan.
In the last 250 years, the extensive forests of Vrindavan have been threatened, first by local Rajas and in recent decades by real estate developers. The forest cover has been whittled away to only a few spots, and the local wildlife, including peacocks, cows, monkeys and a variety of bird species, has been exposed to various threats.
The most appalling development, however, has been the plight of widows in the city. It’s sad to see them being subjected to such an awful existence in a country when women are worshipped as goddesses. Regardless of their age, they are forced to wear white attire and are expected to lead a dreadful life. So much so that they are not even allowed to attend any ceremony as her presence is considered a bad omen. According to a United Nations Development Fund for Women study, many widows don’t even come to Vrindavan voluntarily. They are often escorted by their relatives, who leave them with no intention of taking them back ever.
This Holi has brought some colours in the otherwise wretched lives of the Vrindavan widows. One wonders this is not the only step towards improving their lives.
