She remembers everything
How many versions of our past selves exist entirely within the memories of the women who raised us? We spend our adult lives aggressively moving forward and discarding earlier versions curator of all those, says SAKSHI PRIYA
How many of our forgotten selves do we simply leave behind in the dark? As adults we ruthlessly march forward and drop our past identities by the wayside without a single backwards glance. We shed the frightened child, the terrified teenager, and the hesitant youth, leaving those heavy layers of old pain far behind us in our absolute rush to grow up.
Yet exactly one person acts as the silent curator of all those forgotten identities. A mother operates as the living repository of a human being’s entire history. A mother stands as the solitary witness to the unsaid fears of our beginnings. She remembers the exact pitch of a midnight terror and the heavy, frightened weight of a child pressing against her collarbone, long after that child has completely forgotten those ancient nights of panic. She holds the complete map of your physical and emotional scars.
Society consistently forces the concept of motherhood into comfortable pastels and soft lighting. We receive a highly sanitised script of gentle sacrifices and endless patience. This collective delusion completely ignores the fierce psychological endurance the role actually requires from a woman. To mother someone is to stand constantly between a fragile life and an unpredictable universe. She absorbs the heavy shocks of the outside world and meticulously filters the chaos to present her child with a safe reality. Every seemingly mundane act of pouring breakfast cereal or folding school uniforms rests heavily upon an exhausting daily effort to keep the world’s inherent cruelty firmly outside the front door. We rarely speak aloud about the fundamental tragedy built into the very design of this intimate relationship. The absolute success of a mother relies entirely upon her ability to render herself obsolete. She spends decades pouring every single ounce of her physical energy, her intellect, and her sanity into building a fiercely independent individual.
She does this fully aware that the ultimate reward for her flawless craftsmanship is watching them walk away. She spends her life teaching her child exactly how to leave her behind. This specific brand of devotion requires a level of quiet devastation and supreme grace that our commercial holidays utterly fail to capture.
We must particularly recognise the women who carry this heavy weight entirely alone. So many women act as both the shield and the sword within their homes, raising children single handedly or carrying the entire emotional load within a crowded family space. They navigate the silent terror of solitary parenting with an unmatched, stoic brilliance.
Yet we must completely rewrite the old story that insists a mother must bury her own life to grow another. Raising a child is never a permanent surrender. The private ambitions you packed away in the dark while you kept your family safe are still sitting exactly where you left them. The geometry of the hole left behind when you stepped away from your own path can still be filled with your own brilliant work. The road is completely clear for you to move forward right now. You still hold the fire to chase down whatever you want, and you must do it entirely for your own joy without a shred of guilt. To the women navigating the quiet terrors of raising children alone, to the silent keepers of our oldest fears, and to every mother finally walking toward her own delayed future, we see your fierce, unbroken power. Your next chapter belongs entirely to you. Happy Mother’s Day.
WHAT DO YOU DO FOR YOUR MOTHER?
Shop-bought gifts are easy. Making your mum feel truly seen is harder and more worth it. Here’s where our team would start.
- Cook Her Favourite Meal: She spent years feeding you. Now cook for her. That dish she always made — set the table, light a candle, and let her be looked after for once
- Write Her a Letter: Not a text. A proper handwritten letter. Thank her for everything she quietly did and the faith she always had in you. She will keep it forever.
- Give Her a Whole Day of You: Phone away, just the two of you. A walk, a cup of tea, old photographs, whatever she fancies. Nothing beats a whole day of your time.
What to watch?
Mrs Chatterjee vs Norway
The movie serves as a poignant, albeit intense, tribute to the lengths a mother will go to protect her children.
Mom
Sridevi’s performance in Mom shatters the submissive caregiver image, reimagining maternal love as a strike against injustice that values survival over moral codes.
Helicopter Eela
Kajol’s Helicopter Eela challenges the ‘smother-mother’ trope, showing that a woman’s ambitions can coexist with maternal devotion.
Nil Battey Sannata
Chanda’s classroom journey in Nil Battey Sannata dismantles the ‘helpless martyr’ stereotype, proving that a mother’s fiercest gift is the shared audacity to pick up a pen and dream bigger.
