A strong family is the panacea for a sustainable society but the society is itself undergoing changes and women are no longer willing to suffer in silence

Going off the beaten track, when their daughter’s marriage turned sour, and divorce proceedings are in offing, a father brings her distraught daughter

back home, from her in-law's place with a ‘band-baaja-baraat’, usually meant for weddings, to cheer her up. That was the news story about Ranchi-based 23-year-old fashion designer, Sakshi. While, in faraway Mauritania, a North-Western African country, the media reported how divorced women are being increasingly welcomed by their parental families amid huge celebrations, and many countries in North Africa and the Middle East are also following the same practice.

In India, marriage is considered as ‘sacred’ and ‘quintessential’ for a woman, while, divorce is a ‘sacrilege’. Studies observed that ‘many Indian couples often stick to unhappy marriages, for fear of society’s condemnation and to protect family honour, especially so, in an arranged marriage’. Comparative research among divorced individuals in India and the United States observed that, though, ‘they experience similar problems regarding socio-economic support and psychological well-being, but, Indian women face more problems than Indian men, and suffer more hardship than American women, due to their economic dependence on men, and also because of existing cultural beliefs about women and marriage, which impose a burden of duty and obligation on them, whereas, in the West, it is more of volunteering in which two people mutually agree upon’.

While, a relationship counsellor rued that ‘despite technological advancement and women’s increasing financial independence, some social roles remain unchanged, family responsibilities aren’t shared equally, which can tire out a partner, particularly in love marriages’. In 2016, a research study, based on national district data, identified various probability factors that could lead to divorce or separation among women in India such as ‘having no living sons or no children, and women whose husbands have a lower level of education’. A survey has also revealed that ‘more stable marriages are prevalent among the relatively better-off, while, much less stigma associated with remarriage for both men and women in poorer societies, and many a time, the decisions are driven by practical concerns such as a widowed/single father looking for childcare or a married woman seeking to escape from a violent marriage’.

While, according to the data from the Global Index, India has the lowest divorce rate of just 1 per cent, followed by Vietnam with 7 per cent, and Portugal recorded the highest rate of 94 per cent. Several European nations like Luxembourg, Finland, Belgium, France, and Sweden, experienced more than 50 percent divorce rates.

While the UN’s overview of marriage patterns, revealed that there was a general upward trend of rise in the proportion of divorce or separation rates among adults (35-39 years), from 2% in the 1970s to 4% in the 2000s. In the US, the rate doubled from 2.2 per 1,000 in 1960 to over 5 per 1,000 in the 1980s, while, in the UK, Norway and South Korea, it more than tripled.

Now, in India, during the last two decades, there has been an increase of 50% to 60% in divorce rates, particularly in urban areas and metro cities like Delhi, Mumbai, and Bangalore, and 53% of them were filed by people aged between 25-34 years.

In Delhi, it rose by 36% from 1990 to 2012, and in 2019, 65% of them were initiated by women. Studies also divulged that between 2007 and 2016, the percentage of married youth (25-30 years) plummeted from 55% to 47%, with more young men remaining unmarried (61%) compared with women (41%). Even among elderly couples, marriage break ups aren’t uncommon nowadays, as a marriage counsellor remarked that ‘many in their twilight years, are motivated by the possibility of pursuing interests, passions, and to a more wholesome life, which their spouses never shared or allowed’, while, a sociologist commented that ‘attitudes among adult children to their parents' second marriage are slowly changing

Now, there is a famous saying that ‘the strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home’.

While, a stable home can only sustain on harmonious marital and family relationships, based on love, commitment, and mutual respect, where both parents invest positively in children’s holistic growth and welfare.

The developed world has already caught up in ‘strong families, sustainable societies’ campaigns. Civil rights activists in Mauritania too, undertaking similar efforts. India should also nurture and protect an intact, two-parent family, and a family structure that doesn’t undermine the rights of women under the stranglehold of patriarchy.

(The author is former Director General, Doordarshan & All India Radio, views are personal)