Fashion designer Bina Ramani describes the mystery of her life in her autobiography. In a candid chat with K Bhardwaj, she talked about her love affair with Shammi Kapoor, turbulence in her first marriage and her version of the Jessica lal murder case

Even fiction takes a beating in Bina Ramani’s life. From glamour, fashion to unwanted tragedies, she has seen it all. The former girlfriend of Shammi Kapoor, Bina got married to Andy Ramani in 1967, an Air India professional based in New York. After a failed marriage of 13 years, she returned to India to establish what we call Hauz Khas Village. She rose to become one of the most influential members of city’s social circuit. However, life took a sad turn for Bina when Jessica lal’s murder took place in one of her restaurants. She experienced life-taking attacks and kept visiting the Delhi courts till justice was delivered. Years later, Bina is ready to present her version of her life in an autobiography titled Bird in a Banyan Tree (Rupa Publications). Excerpts of an interview.

What inspired you to writeIJ

My marriage was arranged and exceptionally bad. I was in  love with Shammi Kapoor and overnight I was forced to marry someone else. I didn’t rebel and went to America where my husband was based. I was naïve and had a patriarchal upbringing. I did my best to engage my husband but he would hardly come home. I was secluded to one apartment. Whenever he came home, he was never interested in me since I was also a stranger to him. There was another woman in his life. I was heartbroken. That pain inspired me to write. I used to maintain a diary and thought I would publish that someday.

Tell us about your relationship with Shammi Kapoor.

It was an initiative taken by Bhabhiji (Raj Kapoor’s wife, Krishna Malhotra). After the death of Shammi’s first wife Geeta Bali, they wanted to stabilise his family. My family (lalvanis) and Kapoors were very close. We used to dine together. Since I was raised in a very familial manner, bhabhiji thought I would make for a perfect partner for Shammi. She wanted me to mother his kids. In fact, she used to arrange secret meetings for both of us. The year of 1966 was incredible. We were in love. But one meeting with Raj Kapoor changed it all. I would like readers to read that secret in the book.

In your first marriage, you suffered a lot...

I think I was supposed to marry Shammi. He had gone out on a seven-day shikar, which was often. On his return, we were planning to get married. But my life turned upside down in those seven days. Andy Ramani came into my life. The marriage lasted for 13 years and was a failure with several separations. Some stability in our relationship came when we had two daughters. But it remained an uneven marriage throughout. I was allowed to work only if I gave my pay cheque to him. The first job I got was from Taj Hotels. I was trained in Bombay (Mumbai) and was posted abroad to handle marketing and public relations for North and South America. My husband wanted to be my boss in every way. I used to keep 20 per cent of the income for my own expenses. Eventually, there came a time when I put my foot down and mustered courage to step out of this failed relationship. Then I quit Taj after a few years. I started trading under Binatone, which was a family business.

Were you in touch with Shammi Kapoor after marriageIJ

Not really, I would meet him at marriages. When I read about his death, I was so numb. I prayed for him. I called leela and shared my condolences. Bhabhiji called me when Karishma was getting married. It was a Sikh wedding and they didn’t know all rituals. It was a good get together. I met Shammi also. We also got one picture. We hardly had any photograph together. He talked about the Jessica lal case and how much he was worried about me.

Did you take permission from Shammi Kapoor or his family for the bookIJ

I told him about it and even sent him the chapter. He was wondering that I didn’t forget anything. I also showed it to his wife, Neila Devi, and even warned her of the aftermath. But she was okay since it was my life. I have the right to talk about it.

How did fashion happenIJ

It was in my genes always. I always wanted to become a fashion designer but my parents didn’t approve of it. I used to stitch my own clothes. I learnt dressmaking in london. I also modelled for sometime before marriage. Fashion in full force came much later. Before trading, I wanted to do fashion but my family was concerned since fashion was an unpredictable profession. I would collect stuff from Chandni Chowk, lajpat Nagar, Benaras, Jaipur and other areas and put them up at Hauz Khas Village. Finally the village turned into a success and rest is history.

Do the Jessica lal murder case memories still haunt youIJ

Nothing haunts me. I put out my best. We went through difficult times. Justice was delivered and we are living a happy life. I wish Manu Sharma best of his life. Tihar has opportunities for a reformed life. It was in jail that I decided to write an autobiography. Today, I am very happy. There has been a sort of awakening in my life. I just wonder why it happened to me.

Were you victim of circumstancesIJ

Of course! I had a high profile life with influential people on my friend list. Just before the murder, I did an event with Richard Gere, first AIDS awareness event here. There was a lot of jealousy in the social circuit. There were few friends who had the courage to stand by me and others just fell by the wayside. It was a great load-shedding incident. But I have learnt lessons from it. Awareness is the most important thing.

Are you still under threatIJ

Yes! I still get threatening calls. But there’s worse than that. I was in court recently. They had sent me legal notice over some minor mistake that took place while filling a form years back. The chief of crime department has so much time for me when Delhi is dabbling with enormous crime.

Was your family apprehensive about the autobiographyIJ

My children were very upset by the idea of a book. My daughter in New York has a settled life and is very protective of her kids. Malini was also not supportive. They didn’t want me to reopen a closed chapter. I had written some short stories based on my encounters with women in my life at various stages but the publishing house suggested people would be more interested in knowing my personal life. Finally I convinced daughters that the world deserves to know my version of story.