With celebrities not turning up to receive their awards, Golden Kela has turned out to be a commercial failure in Delhi and is, therefore, shifting to Mumbai. Kunal Singh reports
The ladies and gentleman present there were advised to grab a glass of beer and not to stuff too much food in their mouth to prevent choking while laughing. The ceremony for Golden Kela awards, that celebrate the worst in Indian cinema, was full of witty remarks and jokes that were more satirical than funny. The hosts didn’t seem to shy away from taking names. With categories like the jadoo award for the most alien looking actor in Bollywood, the khooni Dracula award for the most uninspired horror film and a performance by standup comedian Zakir Khan, the Kela awards wisely picked up the worst from Bollywood.
The nominees had a bare-knuckle fight to the top, the worst film for the year 2014 went to Humshakals. The worst actor male went to Arjun Kapoor though there was a fight to the top as Rani Mukherji was nominated for Mardani in the same category. The worst actor (female) went to Sonakshi Sinha for her acting in everything she did. Action Jackson didn’t disappoint as it took the worst director award, unfortunately Prabhudeva could not be there to receive his award. The jadoo award was taken by Shah Rukh Khan for achieving the most inhuman body possible for a human being. He could not be there to receive it, actually, none of the actors could.
The most atrocious lyrics went to Himesh Reshamiya for his mind boggling film in Xpose while the most irritating song of the year went to Yo Yo Honey Singh for making us realise that water is actually blue. There were rumours that Abhishek Sharma, the director of The Shaukeens, had bribed the jury for the bawra ho gaya hai ke award as it was to go to Nawazuddin Siddiqui for his performance in Kick. Abhishek was the only person to actually receive the Golden Banana. He said, “life has come full banana, I believe cinema is an art, some people may like it, some may not.
It’s not about the business, the business was fine for Tere Bin laden, it’s about the story that the director wants to present. I think it’s time to reinvent Indian cinema. We have not made successful films this year. I believe there is no such place as Bollywood and it’s failing to provide good films.” He also announced his retirement from ‘concept Bollywood’ and added that he will be experimenting with a lot of new stuff.
The Golden Kela will be shifting to Mumbai as it has failed to get commercial success in Delhi. Celebrating criticism first requires accepting it. With Saif and Shah Rukh doing films like Humshakals and Happy New Year and shying away from accepting a golden banana on stage, Bollywood has a long way to go. Probably, the organisers hope that if the award function take place in Mumbai, they would be able to draw at least a handful of actors to receive the Golden Kela.