A negative attitude tends to impact thinking and vice versa, says Rajyogi Brahmakumar Nikunj ji
Human relationships are infinitely complex and tricky to manage and hence they need immense patience, understanding, acceptance, acknowledgement and engagement. There is a well known saying that ‘we see things not as they are but as we are’. While our physical eyes see everything and everyone the same way, it is actually the thoughts and feelings that accompany the act of seeing which form an impression in the mind about what we are seeing. So, if our feelings are light and pure, we feel the same way about everything we see. On the other hand, if we are in a negative frame of mind we might perceive things negatively. It’s a known fact that we develop a negative attitude towards others when we see and keep thinking about their faults. In fact most of us have experienced this, haven’t weIJ The simplest way to get out of this trap is to think about the things that we like in that person, and soon our feelings will start changing. In short, focussing on the positive qualities automatically frees us from negativity.
Most people are caught up in their own lives and to them, their problems are big issues. But if we look at the larger picture, we realise that we expend much of our time and energy on trifles in our life and even more insignificant in relation to the events unfolding on the huge stage of the world, or the universe. For example, take the case of a small child who has been left with his grand parents by his mother for a couple of days. Now, if he keeps on thinking that since his mother left him alone she no longer loves him, he would feel that a big vacuum has been created in his life. This may make him sad, lonely, weak and miserable. However, in reality all these feelings are a creation of his own thinking. So, instead of adopting a negative attitude, if he adopts an unlimited one and looks at the larger picture, he won't be shaken by this event. He would remember that everyone has to be independent one day and no human is going to be with us forever. He would also remember that there are thousands of children whose parents are working and they have to stay alone without any choice. Such positive thinking changes our consciousness from a limited one to an unlimited one. It is up to us whether we want to have a universal attitude towards everything or a narrow attitude to make our life miserable. It depends on us how we take the inconveniences in our daily life or the problems that crop up in relationships. We can either keep thinking about them and blow them up into big issues only to end up feeling burdened, frustrated, angry or depressed. Or we can see them in the right perspective and deal with them in the best way possible without letting them affect our state of mind in any way. Such an attitude helps us remain stable in the face of all the challenges that life brings our way. It also helps others around us as it enables us to come out of self-centred or selfish way of thinking and to think of the universal good. This influences our behaviour and helps us build good relationships. One with such an outlook becomes a good team worker who is able to adjust to the nature of others and work with all kinds or people. Such a person appreciates the good qualities of others and learns from them. He would be free of jealousy and be able to hear praise of others as well as take advice and criticism in the right spirit without getting upset. Because such a person is able to deal with all kinds of situations with a stable mind, he would be trusted with responsibility and be a source of strength for others. And since he is never caught up in small issues and always looks at the big picture, others would also have faith in his impartial judgment. Such a person would be a unifying figure in any group or organisation and will not fall into the trap of forming or aligning with divisive cliques or groups. These are the wonderful benefits of bringing about a simple change in our consciousness. Now, it’s up to us, whether to change for our own good or be confused, unhappy and depressed.