There was a time when Shilpa Shukla wanted to end her life, owing to Bollywood’s infamous pressure. In a candid interview with Karan Bhardwaj, she talks about her stressful journey and staging a comeback with a bold avatar in BA Pass
Her initial filmography includes Khamosh Pani (2003) and Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi (2005) and Bhindi Baazaar (2011). But it was Chak De! India (2007) that brought her popularity. Unfortunately, Shilpa Shukla couldn’t translate the fame into many films. In this interview, she recalled how various projects came her way but never materialised. Excerpts:
How did you get into filmsIJ
I was studying sociology in Miranda House when I auditioned for Khamosh Pani in 2000. I got selected but the film didn’t take off till two years later. Meanwhile, I had started theatre and enjoyed it. My father wanted me to pursue higher studies. But mujh mein acting ka keeda aa chuka tha… A friend told me about a movie and I went to Mumbai. It was called Juncture, opposite Abhay Deol. But unfortunately that film also fell apart. luckily, I cleared the auditions for Chak De! India.
You said Chak De was your ticket to stardom...
I had gone to every award ceremony and social gathering for networking, but things just didn’t materialise. I assumed Chak De would be a turning point and it fell flat on my face. During interviews, I uttered all that crap about being back in the mainstream and it being my ticket to stardom.
What had happenedIJ
I am yet to figure out. After Chak De, I was signed by a few heavyweights. UTV offered me Seasons Greetings which never happened. Then a big director whom I really admire but don’t wish to name called me for his venture. It also failed to begin. It was heartbreaking. Then I started shooting lucky Boys for Pritish Nandy Communications. While it was on, Mumbai was attacked by terrorists and this project was stalled. To my surprise the film never resumed. I was shattered.
Are you difficultIJ
No! I am a well-behaved person. I don’t throw tantrums and am versatile. I can do all that gana bajana like any heroine. Maybe people didn’t know how to use me. Things were going out of hands and it soon became matter of survival — personally and professionally.
Were you depressedIJ
In 2010, a big banner approached me for a film. I had to go abroad to shoot. Media was writing about it. But a day before I had to leave, I read some other actor had been roped in to play my part. When I approached the director, he SMSed me and apologised. I was very angry but couldn’t vent out. I just told him I wouldn’t work with him in future. But that terrible phase broke me. I was depressed to the point that I decided to take my life. But some divine energy saved me. I said to myself: Shilpa, you are not a victim. You did a good film (Chak De!). Even if you don’t work anymore, you will always be remembered.
How did you recoverIJ
I started taking myself less seriously. I travelled. Spirituality helped. I knew you cannot blame anyone for failures. I was innocent, gave successful screen tests, everything was happening on papers but didn’t materialise. Finally, I got BA Pass.
It’s erotica and required steamy scenes. Were there apprehensionsIJ
I asked my parents if they would disown me after BA Pass. They are very progressive. My father said you have to take risks for pathbreaking initiatives. It was a fresh beginning. I went ahead. last year, when it screened at Osian Film Festival, I was present there and I noticed the audience reaction. It was overwhelming. I hugged my mother tightly at the end. I wish my father was alive to watch it. He passed away last March. Bharat Shah bought the film which releases next month.
Why disappear after BA PassIJ
I went to my village Vishnupur in Bihar. My father was passionately involved in a girl’s school for which he had written letters to the government. I wanted to take that up. I shot a documentary on my visit and handed it to my brother Ven Tenzin Priyadarshi, a scholar with Prajanopaya. They are researching on Bihar’s education scenario and this documentary will help. Now I have returned to promote BA Pass. let’s see what happens next. I have two other projects.
Are you part of Gulaab GangIJ
I was involved it for three years. But when I returned from my native place, things had changed. I wanted to take a giant leap. Do meaty roles. Ab chhote roles aur chhote budget ki films bahut ho gayi.. Now I want to do good stuff to stabilise my financial situation.