Though living in the 21st century, we are still drowned in the dark depths of social evils like dowry. Worse, this terrible flaw goes uncorrected despite technological and scientific developments. By Rajyogi Brahmakumar Nikunj
Any young man who makes dowry a condition of marriage discredits his education and his country and dishonours womanhood— Mahatma Gandhi
It is being said over and over again that “India is on the verge of becoming a developed nation.” This sounds really good to all Indians, as we might then be at par with other developed countries of the world. No more would we be now considered as a backward nation with poor technological knowhow and a below average education system. However, with all these positive and hopeful news, how should we react to reportage about “bride burning”, resulting out of the age-old dreadful evil system of dowryIJ Does this kind of news match the pace at which we are developingIJ
It is quite surprising that in spite of so much development, we Indians have still not succeeded in the total abolition of this abusive system of perpetuating the powerplay between genders. “No dowry, no marriage” is the biggest fear in India as a result of which no parent wishes to have a daughter at home. In fact, some Indians shamefully believe that bringing up a daughter is like watering the land of a neighbour. Unseasonable dowry demands from the groom’s family negatively affect the financial conditions of the bride’s family. The rapacious in-laws make all sorts of attempts to extort maximum dowry from the bride’s parents, these days in the form of material comforts.
As recent news reports suggest, this barbarous practice has either led parents to borrow huge sums of money or it has driven brides to commit suicide or has caused recrimination and an alarming number of cases of wife-burning and wife-beating, thereby bringing gloom and disaster to countless homes. It would not be exaggerating to say that the increasing amount of female foeticide in India is in some way because of this evil system of dowry. If we go deep into the root of this problem, we will find that this evil is a typical expression of a socio-economic system that is built on the axiom that a woman is of less intrinsic value than a man. leave aside the reference to the old days, even today the laws of the state transfix the husband’s name on a woman. In official transactions, a woman is required to proclaim her marital status and give her “married name.” Thus, bride-burning or wife-burning, which has caused a countrywide wave of consternation, is an outcome of our very own defective value system. It is a sign of extreme moral decay. It is a disease that afflicts a society which has come to regard money as the highest god.
The remedy, therefore, lies not merely in making the dowry laws more stringent and giving them the biting teeth but elsewhere, for, in most cases, a girl’s parents are highly unlikely to take recourse to law and turn a bridegroom or his parents over to the police for having demanded dowry. Moreover, it should be realised that a greedy man, in pursuit of personal gain, would always brush aside consideration of legal barriers and invent covert means to circumvent the law. The real solution, therefore, lies in moral and social reform which cannot be accomplished in isolation. It can form only a part of a comprehensive scheme for the outlook and the belief that fundamentally, men and women are souls and that each has a role complementary to the other.
Society must also realise that there is a moral law in the world, which none, however high and influential, can violate with impunity. A person who can go to the extent of extracting dowry from his wife and can indulge in wife-beating or wife-burning, is a mere degenerate who, in his day-to-day dealings, can throw all moral norms to the winds. The first thing, therefore, needed is to reform this potential criminal rather than give him a girl in marriage. So, let us all take a strong resolve to educate our girls and sensitise our boys to burn this evil system from its roots and make a society where each soul has a right to live with dignity and self respect.