People like me, who went through extreme situations of violence, strife and pain, have a choice, either to disconnect and dissociate from the world or to overcome it, says Mariuma Ben Yosef, founder of Shanti House. By Kritika Dua
A home that welcomes runaway kids off the streets of Israel, homeless youth at risk aged 14-21 and offers them a peaceful environment, caring support system at a point in their lives when they have nowhere else to turn and no place to call home. Shanti House enables them to choose life and initiate a process of healing and rehabilitation. Their arms are open to all regardless of religion, race, sex or gender, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, with no need for a formal referral or waiting period and no limit on their stay.
She was only 14 years old, when Mariuma Ben Yosef ran away from home. She lived on the streets of Boston for almost two years — slept on benches, ate the food she found in the garbage. But, she was not a quitter and got her life on track. Mariuma moved back to Israel (she had lived there as a child) attended boarding school and later served in the military. When she became pregnant at 20, it changed the course of her life. Talking about the initiation of the journey with Shanti House, a loving shelter for homeless youth, Mariuma said, “I was about to embark on a backpacking trip upon completing my service — but man plans and god laughs — I got pregnant and knew that my life was taking a 180 degree turn. I needed to find work but I was pregnant, who would hire meIJ I tried to think back on the moments that I felt most connected, most alive — and ironically it was when I was with my ‘family of the streets’. I started to organise communal dinners for the children of the streets of Tel Aviv. It started informally, a handful of kids gathering, connecting, living and quickly the word spread and tons of youth would throng to our gatherings. I would cook for them with whatever money or scraps I could put together. One of the girls who had just returned from India said that it was the perfect feeling of ‘Shanti’ and that’s how we got our name.” The shelter home dates back to 1984.
“People like me — who went through extreme situations of violence, strife and pain, have a choice — either to disconnect and dissociate from the world — or to overcome it. A moment of enlightenment that shows you that everything that you’ve been through has led you to a point in time — your higher calling kicks in. I knew in a moment of clarity that this was my calling — to open a home for these children of the street, the House of Shanti. I knew that this gave me a reason to live. At the age of 21, I had found my path. The inner calling and knowledge became clear. Suddenly, I listened differently, acted differently. I was on a mission and nobody would stop me. I knew I was put on this earth to help these children choose life — I couldn’t do it for them — I could just lead them there, added she.
The State of Israel and the Welfare and Social Services Ministry operate preventive programmes for youth at risk, as well as many non-profit organisations are dedicated for prevention and assistance to youth at risk.
She focusses on prevention programmes developed over 34 years of working and caring for more than 52,000 youth at risk and actual life-threatening danger. “Many of the youth who come to the Shanti House and are defined as youth at risk undergo a process of mediation with their parents and family, since no one really wants to leave their home. The process is conducted with great empathy and attention to the needs of these young boys and girls.” The youth arriving at Shanti House, that come under life-threatening conditions, are treated based on their method of treatment — a comprehensive method that covers the entire gamut — design of the homes, construction of an individual’s therapeutic suit for each boy and girl, and provides these youngsters, that were abandoned by their families, with a new family.
Quoting from the book, The Shanti House way penned by her “….The way of truth is exhausting, and children should be led down that way until they learn to cling to it without the fear of the result. A child is a free spirit who needs to find its destiny and not the destiny of the parents or educators. In children, we hide seeds of truth, of choice, of upright gait, and we wait for them to ripen. Everyone has his own rate of progress, and at times too much care and overzealous watering do more damage than help. It is as if we are dealing with the agriculture of the spirit — we sow and plant and wait for the crop like a patient farmer.”
Shedding light on the caregiving methods developed by her for the distressed youth, she said, “Youth arriving at our shelter home must be at a stage that they are ready and willing to save their lives. For many of these youngsters, this is the last chance they will ever have for a warm and loving home before descending into life on the streets. This place is the tipping point in their lives — the crossroad between a life of violence and crime and a life of thriving and living. We provide an accepting and open Jewish home, upholding Jewish traditions and values. A blend of unique
therapeutic modalities for victims of abuse of all kinds with among the highest percentage of success rates in Israel.”
Running away from home as a teenager, there must have been some challenging times she had to go through. “I found the way to save a life. I was born with the knowledge — I just needed to take the journey to discover what was inside me the entire time. life is a combination of nature and nurture but I truly believe that the circumstances we are handed in life are not what forms us — it’s our passion, our drive and rising above to connect to universal love. After suffering violence and abandonment, I became a ‘child of the streets’ — spanning two continents. I preferred the snow and ice to the pain and suffering I endured. I chose to live my life on my terms. I knew there was a higher power that was guiding me, a purpose, a reason. It kept me warm even throughout the toughest blizzards. I found myself in the deserts of Sinai and the streets of Tel Aviv. Despite suffering unspeakable violence and rape — I learned that every word, every action counted and that there was a Karmatic force in the world — everything happens for a reason.”
The methods that this shelter house has developed over the years including visibility, choice, psychotherapy treatment methods are now accepted practices in many therapeutic institutions. Since its establishment, Shanti House has contributed, in a variety of ways, to saving 52,000 teenagers, some of them returning to their homes, and some returning to a normative lifestyle accepted by the society they live in.
Time spent at this shelter house enables youngsters to return to a stable life — in terms of their emotional condition, employment and studies, develop their independence and become good and contributing members of society, despite and because of their past. Her noble work helps in paving a way for a healthy society. She exclaimed, “Most of the youth at Shanti House finish their studies with full or partial matriculation, and then enlist in the army and thus returning and complying with social norms. This also prevents unnecessary expenses by the State, limits the budgets invested in youth at risk and delinquent youth, and produces a better and healthier society.”
Mariuma concluded by giving a message to those struggling with their lives still, “The choice is yours: You can choose to feel miserable and victims of the difficult experiences you underwent, and live within a bubble of self-pity that does not get you anywhere — only down, or you can choose to save your life, take the tough things you underwent and build on them to become a better person, to learn and grow so as to do good for yourself and the world.”