Historian Arundhati Virmani in her exhibition, Marriages à la Française, will present shifts in cultural grammar, focussing on French weddings. By Ankita Jain
While studying and researching wedding invitation cards in India, noted historian Arundhati Virmani came up with an interesting plan to extend her investigation into the rituals of weddings in France. In the exhibition titled Marriages à la française, curator Arundhati will showcase the marriage contracts, Catholic marriage letters, wedding menus, a 1950s wedding dress and veil, an antique set of porcelain plates showing the different stages of the wedding ceremony, and some other elements that characterise French wedding rituals. The exhibition traces the significant changes and developments in the institution and rites of marriage in France from a predominantly Catholic Church ritual to a civil ceremony. It is expected to present a reflection on social transformations and values in France since the end of the 19th century.
More importantly, she said, “The number of heterosexual marriages has certainly fallen. In 2015, the number was 2,39,000 according to INSEE (The French national statistics bureau that collects and publishes information about the French economy and people and carries out the public national consensus) men and women are getting married later. But the recent conflict in France and the demand for ‘marriage for all’ showed that marriage is still considered an important act that ensures legal rights. Paradoxically, the number of marriages taking place has fallen but the marriage ceremony itself continues to be considered as extremely important.”
In the past few decades, French marriages have become a casualty and the rate of divorce is rising. Elaborating on this, she explained, “In early modern France, the chances of couples growing old together was pretty low: the rate of mortality was high, the risk of women dying in childbirth was high, so too, that of men dying in wars, and then there were diseases that couldn’t be treated. So men were widowed, women lost their husbands and remarriage was natural and frequent. However, with medical progress and a longer span of life, couples are bound to each other for a much longer period. So divorce is in some ways almost a natural development. There is also a lower tolerance among women to assume responsibilities both on the domestic front and in the professional sphere. Men show a general incapacity to change and share equally in daily tasks and chores. There is a stronger desire amongst women to recognise their own needs and not sacrifice themselves. Men can’t seem to be able to keep up with women. Hence, many women opt out of marriage if they come to a point when they feel exploited and prefer even to have babies and bring them up on their own as singlemothers, although that’s still not easy.”
While many believe, there is a dip in wedding market in France, Virmani explained, “There is one element that continues to exercise the same fascination since the 19th century, it is the bridal dress. Folkloric costumes, and customs have on the other hand receded. The other major increment has been in terms of marriage.”
She talked about the expenses that one has to incur when get married in France. “In the Paris region, the budget for the marriage is 18 per cent higher than in the provinces. The meal, the caterer and cake are the most expensive part (61 per cent of the budget); then the reception hall (12 per cent), then the honeymoon (8 per cent) and then the dresses (8 per cent). An average cost for a marriage is around 8000 euro. And what’s more hard is that the cost is just for 70 guests.”
Drawing a comparison between Indian and French marriages, she said, “French weddings are not so lavish or exuberant. The number of guests is smaller, the wedding banquet is more formal and more structured. There are not so many pre-wedding ceremonies, and no exchange of gifts between families. Everything is very measured and calculated in France, from the wedding expenses to the number of people invited. French weddings are less bling-bling.”