During a discussion at the UChicago Centre, Ora Setter, an academician and spiritual consultant, and Deborah Kandli, former Air Force pilot, spoke about how mindfulness is different from concentration and why it is important to not give up after failure. They talked to Shrabasti Mallik
What do you think mindfulness isIJ” Ora Setter asked us, looking deep into our eyes, almost piercing into our thoughts. “To concentrate,” we replied. With a smile, she said that the two were quite opposite.
“Mindfulness is meditation. Usually in India, we meditate either by breathing or by chanting mantras but mindfulness is almost the opposite, meaning that when you are mindful, even during meditation, you are aware of everything that is happening around you — inside and out. If you’re in concentration you do not want the outer world to come in. But in mindfulness, they are coming in and you follow them. You try to see what happens to your body when you have that — you experience everything, moment by moment without any judgement,” she elaborated on the subject during a discussion titled Chutzpah, Women and Culture of Innovation.
Setter is a lecturer at the Recanati Business School, Tel Aviv University and other academic institutes in Israel, teaching mainly organisational development and consulting.
One of the points that she deliberated on was the willingness to go on even after failure. “Everything does not stop just because you failed. You have to look at it in another way. You have to get up and move on,” Setter said and added that one also needs to know when to stop trying. She chose to explain, “It’s is not that you do not stop at all. Sometimes when you fail, you should stop. Sometimes you have to know when something is not working. You stop when you realise it but you do not stop looking forward.”
And she spoke from experience. She had failed quite a number of times and once it hit her so bad that she fell sick. It was then that it dawned on her that it was alright to let go. It took her a few weeks before she got back on her feet and now, she is quite proud of her failures. “You go on. You are not stuck with failure. You need to go on because the reason for the failure was such that they could be changed. But at times, it’s just that you can’t go on. I ran out of money, had to fire my employees and went into depression in 2001. Then the bubble burst and I couldn’t go on. There was no reason in fighting and trying. Sometimes it is alright to stop,” she added.
Today she runs a successful consultation company called Window in the Spirit and conducts programmes in spirituality management, mindfulness and Buddhist thoughts. She is not a Buddhist, though. “I am a Jewish Buddhist,” said Setter, who finds similarities in the Buddhist and Hindu traditions. “I find a lot in the Buddhist and Hindu traditions that make sense in how to live your life in general and also at work. Things like how to tackle problems and how to go on, how to listen to other people and relate to them and how to come to terms with your feelings — all these things that I teach comes from Eastern wisdom,” she shared.
Another panellist Deborah Kandli agreed and added that one should also be flexible to changes. “If things look tough, then you just have to change your approach and do it some other way. Do the changes but never give up. We believe in a saying — if you dream it, you can do it,” she said.
And we believe her because she spent 25 years in the Israeli Air Force, a field fairly male-dominated. When she joined, she wanted to be a paratrooper but when she applied, she was sent to the Air Force instead. Her upbringing was such that she was taught to believe that there is nothing that she cannot do. “I was taught to leave my unique fingerprint and also to leave a legacy,” she said.
Although her colleagues at the Air Force base were mostly men, she did not have a problem with it. “Because I was young and when you are young, you do not feel much difference,” said the officer of Indian origin, pointing out that the only time she felt any different was during promotions. “That is when it becomes a tad difficult,” she laughed.
But she held on because she had a strong ‘why.’ “I wanted to not only serve and protect my country but also to influence a lot of people,” she said and explained how the Army, apart from protecting the country, is also a way to regain social acceptance. “The Army is also the last station for many Israelis who are expelled from educational institutions. It is the last chance for those people to integrate with the Israeli society,” she added.
They both believe that one can achieve their dreams in life if they have passion enough to pursue it. “There should be a fire burning in you. The first thing you need to do is to act to follow your dream,” said Kandli.
Family, too, plays a very important part in achieving your dreams. Setter pointed out that India and Israel also lay a strong emphasis on family and family values. “If you have the support of your family, the path leading to your dream becomes a bit easier,” she said.