The demonetisation drive may be the biggest step so far in the war on black money and terror funding, but the public in general also saw the flip side of this unprecedented drive. SUNDAY PIONEER brings you some from the closet humour trending on Twitter, Whatsapp, Facebook and Instagram
Fake or RealIJ
Since demonetisation there have been many mistakes but nothing more confusing than the printing of new Rs 500. Believe it or not, there are printing errors on them.
Some of these notes have a visible shadow of Mahatma Gandhi’s face,in others the position of the Ashoka Pillar lion is in the wrong place. In still others, numbers on the note are out.
So are these notes fakeIJ The Reserve Bank of India says no and has said these can be used. But if people find it difficult to can use them, they can exchange them.
Humour Notes
Please don’t worry, one can deposit Rs 500 and Rs 1000 notes at the banks even after December 30, 2016 at the following places:
Bank of Kaveri
Bank of Tunghbhadra
Bank of Ganga and Yamuna
Bank of Krishna
Bhai Rajni
Meanwhile.... Rajnikanth has decided to exchange his notes tomorrow. Banks are requested to please keep their IDs ready.
Moolah limerick
Ba ba Black money
Have you any fool
Yes sir, yes sir
Three bags cool
One for the dustbin
One for the drain
And one for the one who holds the country’s rein
Queue Talk
Man1: What notes are they givingIJ
Man 2: Anything will do, I don’t have any moneyIJ
Man 3: They are giving Rs 100 notesIJ
Man 1: I don’t care what notes, as long as it is not Rs 2,000.
Rs 500 Thrashing
In the early days of demonetisation, a man was beaten up by some thugs. The story goes that the man’s pocket was picked. But, much to the horror of the thieves, they found that the notes were illegal tender: Three Rs 500 notes. In anger, they came back, threw the wallet at the man and thrashed him for not keeping Rs 100 notes.
Book Chhotu
We Indians are very enterprising and know how to cash-in under any adversity. Since the demonitisation drive started some people went online to take services offered by bookmychotu.com. All one has to do is call and a Chhotu, who is an adult, lest you threaten the entrepreneur with child labour suit, arrives at your door step. You instruct him which bank he needs to go to for queuing up.
He stands in the line — charges Rs 90 an hour — and when his turn is about to come, he gives you a call for you to be there at the time of transaction. life made simpler, at a price.
Rs 500 ka Rs 400 mein
When it comes to shortcuts, nobody can beat us. While most people elsewhere in the world would wait patiently in a line, an Indian has already thought of how to circumvent the long queue. Not wanting to spend agonisingly long at bank queues, many people have opted to get their old Rs 500 notes exchanged for a price. So, they give Rs 500 and get back Rs 400 in hundred denomination. Similarly, for Rs 1,000 the exchange was Rs 900. The touts made a cool 10 per cent profit on each transaction.
Pinch of Salt
Demonitisation came with a strong rumour mill at work. The Government had just announced demonetisation. The 1.25 Delhi population was in a tizzy when another, more shocking, news spread like wildfire.
Rumour had it that the country was going to face acute salt shortage! How, when and why this rumour emanated and made people hurry home to buy salt is not known.
Some left bank queues to stack up salt. Salt in some States like Himachal Pradesh was sold for Rs 100 a kg. In Delhi too, some grocers made a killing by selling it at Rs 250 per kg.
There was so much panic that the Government had to step in and announce that there was no shortage and the grocers were overcharging. The good thing was that that the rumour died as fast as it rose and soon it was back to Rs 18 a kg. But besan continues to be sold at Rs 200 a kg instead of Rs 100 earlier.
The Great Indian jugaad
There is no other country in the world which knows jugaad the way India does.
Right after the announcement of demonetisation, the Indian Railways saw a steep rise in reservation booking counters across the country. People were seen queuing up to book tickets since the public run transporter was accepting old Rs 500 and Rs 1,000 denomination notes.
People who never thought of buying the Rs 10 platform ticket were also standing in line to get some change for their older denomination notes.
Some stations saw a jump in ticket bookings by four or five times. But the maximum sales were seen for AC-1 ticket bookings — 1000 per cent!
People, apparently were booking these tickets and then cancelling them, thereby turning their black money into white.
A number to steps were taken to prevent such misuse and the authorities stepped in to curb it, but some managed to get away.
PIZZA ON lINE
Standing in a queue for hours on end can give any one an appetite.
It is a common site these days – wrappers of eatables outside banks. In some places one can see empty paper cups as well. So it was only time when Whatsapp found a joke doing rounds.
A man calls a pizza place. The voice at the other end is courteous and asks for his mobile and order both dispensed with speed.
But before hanging up, the man gives a few extra directions. The pizza, he says needs to be delivered outside ABC Bank on XYZ Street to the man who is 22nd from the front wearing a yellow shirt and turquoise pants.
TAKEN A BEATING
The marriage season took a beating due to demonetisation. What happens if you are getting married in the coming daysIJ
Well, the rule book says that either the bride, the groom or the parents of the intended can withdraw a sum of Rs 2.5 lakh maximum from the bank in a single transaction. All one needed to do was show the printed wedding card with valid address and get the money.
But seriously, which Indian marriage can be managed with just Rs 2.5 lakhIJ Apart from the joke that the bride and groom are sitting with a swipe machine that the guests can use and give appropriate gifts or that the pheras are being taken around the ATM machine, the sad part is that it is the bandwallahs and the dholwallahs who have taken a beating.
There are reports that instead of the usual Rs 500 notes that used to come their way via nyochhavar, it is now down to Rs 10 and Rs 20, that too only if the party has that kind of currency on them.
Even worse, the noton ki mala with Rs 500 and Rs 1,000 has no takers. Malas made of Rs 10 and Rs 20 have become more precious. So, for once, small is big
PAYTM KARO
If there is one party who made a killing from demonitisation it was Paytm.
From grocers to sabziwalas to autorickshaws to chaiwallahs – all got Paytm installed at their kiosks in the face of shortage of cash.
Cashless has since become a buzzword with even your nukkad chaiwallah saying no to “udhaar”, pointing at the Paytm payment.
So what if it is just Rs 7.
Currency Dumps
On November 8, 2016 Prime Minister Narendra Modi announced that Rs 500 and Rs 1,000 would not longer be legal tender. On November 10, 2016 in Mirzapur in Uttar Pradesh a large crowd gathered at the banks of the Ganga.
Was there a rare variety of fish that had found its way in the riverIJ Not at all. The reason was that hundreds of defunct notes were found floating on the river. The police came in to keep things under control. But not before some tried to fish the currency out.
This is not all, a rag picker in Maharashtra found a trash bag packed with about Rs 50,000 worth of the old currency.
Rs 3.5 crore worth of old currency was found floating in the Brahmaputra at Guwahati!
Closer home, in Delhi’s Khanpur area, a trunk full of old Rs 500 and Rs 1,000 found its way into a bylane dump.
For once, no one was keen on touch this soiled money. Who would take the risk of being found with defunct currency!