Nikhil Gupta, an Indian national who pleaded guilty to the attempted killing of a Sikh separatist leader, has expressed regret for his actions. In a letter to US District Judge Victor Marrero, he assured him that he would devote his life to helping people in need, whether human or animal. This letter came ahead of his sentencing on November 20.
He opened up about his psychological turmoil following his initial arrest, admitting that he did not recognise the person he had become in early 2023. Gupta, who had pleaded guilty on February 13 to charges including murder-for-hire conspiracy and money-laundering conspiracy, was extradited from the Czech Republic to the United States in June 2024.
“I wish I could turn back time to 2023 and undo my mistakes,” he wrote. “Honestly, when I first got arrested, I had suicidal thoughts flashing through my mind continuously, and every night I contemplated ending my life so I would not wake up the next morning. But at the same time, I was thinking about my family, my kids, my wife, my mother and my cats, and how I had already caused them so much pain. I deeply regretted the suffering I caused them and the people around me.”
Gupta described how heavy drinking and personal struggles had clouded his judgment. He revealed that he experienced severe suicidal thoughts during his initial days in custody, constantly worrying about the agonising pain he had caused his wife, children, mother and other family members.
“The most serious challenge in front of me at that time was to contact my family and let them know that I was alive and make them aware of the situation. However, I could not do so for several weeks due to the many restrictions imposed on me as an American law offender. My phone calls were banned, and I could not talk to my family. It took me weeks of expensive approval to get vegetarian food. After several days in custody, I was transferred to solitary confinement in the Czech Republic. This long period lacked rehabilitation or educational opportunities.”
He further wrote that he spent considerable time reading spiritual books, meditating, practising yoga, and praying. The letter reads: “All I had was time, in great abundance, to reflect on my own actions. During this time, I remembered what my mother had taught me: to find the positive in every situation and never lose hope. With this mindset, I began finding ways to learn and occupy myself with meditation and reflection during solitary confinement. I discovered many meditative and spiritual books that shaped my perspective. I soon realised that this confinement was a blessing in disguise, and I began practising yoga, meditation and prayer for countless hours daily.”
In his letter, Gupta said he started feeding birds, and interacting with them became part of his daily routine. “I started finding peace in simple activities like feeding the birds and conversing with them. Soon, this practice became a daily ritual. I continue to meditate and practise yoga even today in MDC. However, there are no birds here, and I miss that terribly,” the letter reads.
Gupta told the judge that imprisonment had “awakened” his conscience and brought him closer to his true self. He wrote that he had learnt the power of positivity, faith, kindness, love and selfless service while recognising and working on his negative traits.
He said his true test began in June 2024, after a year in prison, when he was extradited from the Czech Republic to the United States. Gupta wrote that he faced repeated threats of violence from fellow inmates and gangs after being placed in the Brooklyn facility. However, he said that observing the daily commitment of correctional officers and other staff made him reassess his circumstances and stop dwelling on his difficulties.
“I was placed in MDC, Brooklyn, where constant threats of violence from fellow inmates and gangs were my new reality. However, when I looked at the officers and other staff working at MDC, who have to be here every day, tirelessly, I realised that my situation was not that bad, and I stopped complaining to myself. I started praying and hoping that my stay would be relatively short compared to their dedication to this challenging environment. Their ability to remain calm, polite, humble and helpful, with a smile, truly inspired me. With these thoughts, I continued my daily ritual of reading, practising yoga, meditation, praying and reviewing the Government’s discovery documents,” the letter reads.
Gupta said he had committed himself to helping those in need, whether human or animal. While expressing gratitude to the court for its kindness and for the legal representation provided to him, he said he longed to reunite with his family. “I will accept whatever decision this Court takes,” he wrote, adding that he had full faith in the judge and would continue to strive to become a better person for himself, his family and society.
At the end of his letter, he thanked the court for allowing him the best legal representation and for helping him correct his numerous mistakes. “I can’t deny that I am longing to see my family, but whatever the decision of this Court may be, I will accept it as I have full faith in Your Honour, and I will continue to walk on the path of positivity, kindness, betterment and aspire to be a better human being for myself, my family and society,” Gupta wrote in the letter.
Gupta was extradited to the US on June 14, 2024, after being arrested in the Czech Republic on June 30, 2023. He later pleaded guilty to murder-for-hire, conspiracy to commit murder-for-hire and money-laundering conspiracy. His sentencing is scheduled for November 20.