Many people think old age problems are not their lookout; it’s for the doctors, hospitals and social homes to take care of the old and disease-ridden. Thus sons and daughters enjoy life in far-flung places of the world by virtually casting off their old parents.
The new generation asks why we should take care of them in old ageIJ
Did we ask them to produce us to do soIJ We have our family and our responsibilities; why to waste time on flat tyresIJ
Here we will discuss the scenario in Odisha with which the writer is very familiar with. For other States, there are more learned, highly paid writers and intellectuals to write on the same subject.
The most sufferings during old age are loneliness and depression after the disintegration of the joint family system. First, we would like to discuss the physical sufferings due to aging. like an old car a human body has many problems, the headlight bulb is fused, the tyres have worn out, the chassis has become weak, the horse power has reduced, suspension rod weak, petrol pump leaking, colour faded and steering wheel problematic, etc.
By not taking care of elderly people, we are enforcing a new trend with lesser scope for us when we will become old. Society requires a stable structure for its survival. At this very moment, we are either building that structure or destroying it.
When an old person, who is used to run miles while young, can hardly walk and ask for wheel chairs in railway stations and airports, he feels depressed. The knees which have carried the weight for sixty to seventy years can do no more due to overweight, wear and tear. Those who can afford, go for knee replace surgery but with limited activities and pains. The commode system of latrines may be one of the factors for bent knees and limited activities. There was no knee replacement of our forefathers but they were still walking with a stick at ripe old age of eighty plus! The heart rate has slowly come down to 40 per minutes, irregular and at times stops giving rise to syncope. Pace makers have given hope to millions of heart block patients. Eye sight has deteriorated long back, but due to modern technology old people are able to see the distant sun rise and iced peaked mountains. Prostrate problem is very common amongst males after the fourth decades of life.
Old age problems are usually due to torture subjected to the body during the youth; it’s not an overnight phenomenon. With modern technology we are able to prolong life but not quality due to mental sufferings. The scientists calculate the risk points and can come to conclusion about the remaining life span of an individual.
Some of the senior citizens asked me to write on the problems of old age. Majority said it’s the loneliness and worthlessness which is killing them, if the spouse is dead and the children are away. Their friends and colleagues have perished one by one and they wait for their turn like a jailed convict who has been sentenced to death. This is a common observation that those persons who neither cultivated any hobbies in past nor have any at present, lead a horrible lonely life.
In case of widows there are fewer problems and majority live long. They worship tulsi and keep a cat or a parrot as a companion. They adjust very quickly to their lonely life through their daily routines.
Earlier the age difference between husband and wife was ten or more years which used to help the old man because the young wife could nurse him. Whereas now the wife may be older than the husband; so the scenario has changed. Now a wife hires a young lady to take care of her diseased invalid husband for a price. Some of the senior citizen asks me “is it worth livingIJ”A difficult question but I tell them to look at those beggars sitting for hours in sun near sani temple! They could very well finish their sufferings by lying down on a railway line or consuming poisons but still then they live on! I tell them — Chanakya once said “life is too short to make all mistakes by you. You must learn from mistakes of others.”
But no one recognizes your past but your present value. Everything boils down to money and property. The other day a saintly person asked me: Do you know who wants an old person to die soon, who has a huge wealth and moneyIJ I answered: “His enemy and neighbours”.
“No sir, you are wrong, his wife and children,” he begged to differ with a smile.
Every great religion tells to respect and take care of the elderly people. Any persons who identify himself as a religious man must act accordingly. If not, then such person is nothing more than a hypocrite liar. Any true Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist, or Jain will agree without doubt.
We have become worse than animals in our attitude. Animals are self-centred and people who live a self-centred life cannot be considered as true humans. We humans were designed to take care of each other. Parents are ignored because of selfish wives. Women should not be self centred and greedy. A selfish woman doesn’t allow husbands to take care of their parents. In today’s generation, women want an independent life. They use husband as a sperm donor and an ATM machine. They use children as the weapon to target old parents, how bad! If women can change, then only society will change.
Companionship in the old age matters a lot. A second marriage in the old age is not possible except in a bold and beautiful society with plenty of money to spare. loneliness can lead to depression and mental health issues.
Physical sufferings due to lung, heart, joint, digestion and sleep disturbances are few of the common problems for which one has to adjust with bare minimum medicine.
Accept old age gracefully and lead a happy contented life. Please reduce your food intake as you get older. Talk with your wife what you feel and what you want to do. Get detached from your sons and daughters and your grand children, remember they are your greatest source of happiness and also sorrow. Do not think over and over again whether your son or daughter would be at your bed side during your last breath.
Talk with your morning walker friends who are not depressed or else they would love to see you depressed. For each and every physical element, do not go to a hospital because you have a medical insurance.
Use commonsense medicines. Realise the facts of life and live happily with your life partner. Never think of what would happen to your farmhouse, your car, your bank balance and your booksIJ Just by brooding over these immovable properties, you would invite sorrow, get depressed and developmental problems and die early.
Spend 20 per cent of your savings if you are 60years or more, 30 per cent if you are above 70 years, 50 per cent if you have crossed 80 years.
Old age is a blessing of God. It has its charms and joy of living longer. Do not give up everything to live long, you may repent over it. Nobody can help you if you invite depressive thoughts but yourself. True mental peace can only be acquired by helping people without expecting anything in return. Remember the best place to die is your own home surrounded by your friends and well-wishers, not in ICU.
(Dr Satpathy is Joint Director, Health Services, Steel Authority of India, 9658165249)