Aboard the commercial jetliner, a panting airhostess comes scurrying down the aisle to a particular passenger dozing after a light lunch. “Doctor Patra Sir, please rush out, there is a passenger in need of immediate medical help. The poor fellow is having a heart attack,” she poured out in one breath.
The super-sharp hostess had located the doctor from the list of passengers held in hand. Quietly, the doctor followed her to the patient, looked around as if not sure what to do, and then he just caressed the patient’s chest, telling him reassuringly everything would be fine soon. And lo, everything became fine. The patient felt a lot better and smiled up at him. The whole humanity aboard the aircraft hailed the doctor in chorus for they believed him to be a saviour with a magic touch. Some curious passengers sought to know which medical college created him and so on. The doctor only kept chuckling shyly, visibly a bit embarrassed. All this while, the doctor had his knees buckling and beads of sweat of were just showing up. The plane landed on time; the alerted relatives waiting to take the patient away to a multispecialty hospital, and the airport staff standing with bouquets to express gratitude to the great doctor. But the doctor had stormed out of the jetliner, scampered across the luggage retrieval area and virtually melted into the milling crowd. The saviour doctor was only a PhD recipient, not a medicine doctor. The patient was saved by God. The mystery remained confined to a very few friends and, of course, God.
The PhD-in-Anthropology guy was crazy to be addressed ‘doctor’ like thousands in India. little is talked about how terribly wrong it is to use the expression Doctor as a prefix. The scholar may be called a Doctor at a close gathering of experts in the same field, and that too very sparingly. Unfortunately in India, ninety-five out of hundred are plain crazy to be addressed DOCTOR even by the coolie and the cab driver. He or she introduces self as a Doctor while visiting strangers. There are thousands of such PhD doctors roaming the streets of India frantically waiting to be called Doctor.
Incidentally, the Utkal University churned out 250 PhDs and Dlitts at the last Convocations. At this rate of ‘Doctor manufacturing’, India would be full of people doctor-maniacs. It is not a big surprise that most of these prefix-crazy doctors have attained scholarly status by copy-paste methods. The guides too are equally copy-paste promoters because they too have never taken extra pains or made big efforts to do theses or dissertations with learning. Further, there is information of bogus universities with rogue guides who sell PhDs for money. Thirty years ago, hardly a dozen PhDs were shaped in a year. Today, PhD manufacture has become very efficient. Some recipients proudly spend money to have the news published in local dailies wherein, interestingly, the award story is told as if one has conquered the Mt Everest or hit the bottom of the Challenger’s Deep in the Pacific Ocean. More interestingly, all the relatives in high places are mentioned, particularly the big in-laws, in lofty positions. The Padma and Ratna awardees too are prohibited from using the award as prefixes. In case of violation, there is provision to have the recipient stripped of the award and warned. But unfortunately, even Prime Ministers of this country call out recipients using awards as prefixes. The media are to blame because they never keep conscience while reporting. They are either ignorant or too eager to flatter big people.
*The state of politics in India is invariably in a mess. Nitish Kumar, once a most respected politician, is facing countrywide criticism for trying to dethrone his slave Manjhi. The slave realised one fine morning that he has to act as master and cease to be a puppet. Nitish imagined the puppet was giving away the strings to the all powerful BJP leaders. The crisis is yet to be resolved. Nitish may win at the end, but he has lost reputation. BJP strategists may have played a role in promoting Manjhi as a rebel with promises of monetary and other critical support. Similarly, Modi is slyly hinting at ‘no support’ in future to Kejriwal on the free or highly subsidised water and electricity for the residents of Delhi. ‘Chaiwala’ Modi doubtlessly has lost his charm and magic before the masses. The moment he was caught sporting the million-rupee suit, people became suspicious of him. Modi has taken an even more dangerous step. He has put the suit on sale as if he is demigod or a super celebrity. Brains controlling and guiding Modi blundered, thinking Modi is forever and Kejriwals of any hue shall not ever be able to compete with him. Even if Kejriwal instils minimum fear in the corrupt babus of Delhi and ensures there is no VIP culture around, he will be unstoppable, which Modi and team must know too well! Besides, Modi talks too much of ‘Make in India’ without focusing on ‘small is beautiful’ and ‘quality of life’. He seems obsessed with big manufacture by Adanis and Ambanis of India and other affluent nations. The Swachh Bharat movement too is losing relevance as it has been reduced to photos in the media only. He does not ban polythene materials and make laws to put fitting punishment in place for offenders as much as rewards for respecting rules of cleanliness. Modi has forgotten that having relegated Advani and time-tested stalwarts of BJP to the background could cost him dearly.
*In Odisha, the media have begun the Nabakalebar countdown as if the event will change the face of the State overnight. Puri must be visited by people with functioning heads to figure out what a devastating state the temple town is in today. Every road and important corner is so full of pits, potholes and craters that the whole little city looks like having been bombarded mercilessly. It looks like a war-torn place. Instead of being sensitive to the devastated geography of the town, the administration is more worried about gratifying the greedy servitors by bribing them. Not one soul from the administration can think of a polythene-free town and electric rickshaws which would easily turn the city a paradise. Further, free stay and Mahaprasad for devotees could bring back the glory of the shrine like at the other big temples of India. Shockingly, the Puri temple has been in news for all the wrong and shameful reasons. The authorities must rush to Shirdi and Maata Vaishnodevi to pick the tricks. At these temples, no one sees a greedy servitor called ‘Panda’ around there. All said and done, hyping the festival of a particular faith is not appropriate in a secular country like India. Sensible citizens are ashamed that the Government is so glued to the preparation work which will not be over until after the big days have come and gone. Nabakalebar should never remain high on any State agenda. Poverty alleviation, food security, affordable utilities and free medical care apart from support to promote agriculture should keep the policymakers, administrators and executives vigil across nights on end.
*Happiest news in hand is that a farmer from a remote village of Balangir district has been selected to be felicitated by the Union Government for producing a record 45 quintals per acre by using bio fertiliser. The farmer Nirakara Dharua of Badtelenpali is a hero whom the Odisha Government has ignored in away. He has not been hailed as a hero nor is he given any special prize money or reward.
(The writer is a core member of Transparency International, Odisha)