This year, let’s shift our focus inward, honour our unique paths and recognise the triumphs that shape who we are
How often have you beaten yourself up saying you don’t measure up to others in terms of skillsets and success? How often have you undervalued your accomplishments with a desultory wave of hand accompanied by a “Oh, this is something everyone does” or “I haven’t done anything great”? Chances are that we have done it a greater number of times than what is good for our self-esteem and confidence.
A student of mine recently approached me for a review of her college admission essay wherein she had not highlighted many of her strengths that could catch the attention of the admission officer. “Oh, ma’am, these are things everyone in our school does. This isn’t anything extraordinary,” she said. I sat her down and explained: “We aren’t worried about what others are doing. Our focus should be on what we have done so far and how it has been of consequence to us and others.”
The biggest reason for our disenchantment with our lives in this pacy world is we often undermine our capabilities by trying to match them with others and trying to be one up over the rest.
As long as we keep looking at others, we shall never be able to make the cut, which is completing a task to the best of our abilities, putting forth the best of our ideas as they emerge in our intellect and assessing their value not in terms of where you stand or what your ranking is in comparison, but giving ourselves due credit for the distance we have come given our specific challenges in life. No victory is small.
To the little boy participating in a sack race at school, winning it or making it to the other end without stumbling should be an accomplishment. To a student who successfully makes a presentation in class, the comfort that she feels standing in front of a class and speaking about what she believes in is a success. To a speaker on the stage, the mere fact that she is doing something that many people dread to do and evokes a standing ovation is a matter of great pride. Every little step that takes us forward is significant, not when we think if we are unique by contrast with another, but by how far we have come from where we began.
True growth is not a race gauged by how others are performing but by the milestones, we cross on our journeys. Our fixation with comparison often blinds us to our progress. The yardstick of success is never universal—what feels ordinary to one could be an extraordinary triumph for another. Yet, we diminish our efforts simply because they don’t mirror someone else’s. We forget that personal achievements, however modest they seem, are stepping stones to greater accomplishments. The courage someone musters to speak in public for the first time, or the quiet resilience it takes to rise from personal setbacks—these are victories. They may not be headline-worthy, but they carry profound significance in shaping our character and our path forward.The mistake we often make is believing that success has a standard template. It doesn’t. As we step into a new year, let us make a conscious choice—to shift the gaze inward, to honour our unique journeys, and to celebrate the progress we’ve made, however small it may appear.
Let us define success not by comparisons but by the courage to keep going, the strength to rise after a fall, and the grace to applaud ourselves for showing up.You are enough. Your story matters. And your victories, no matter how quiet, deserve recognition. Here’s to a year where we measure success by our growth, not by how we compare to others. Let those who conquer mountains do so with pride and let those who climb smaller hills find joy in reaching their summits. And for those who can climb neither—whether by circumstance or choice—let their strength shine in being the cheerleaders who uplift others on their journeys.
(The author is a Dubai-based columnist, and writing coach and has published six books.Views are personal)
