The divide between men and women is more of a recent creation rather than something that has been passed on down the ages, says Sakshi Sharma
Are men from Mars and women from Venus? Contemporary literature would have us believe this. But if you travel back in time, Hindu mythology is replete with examples of the sacred feminine, a force that is to be reckoned with while inhabiting a sphere which is exclusive and sacred.
Urdu literature too is peppered with women being celebrated in ways that had nothing to do with their beauty. Kaifi Azmi’s Aurat written more than 75 years emphasised, “Uth meri jaan, mere saath hi chalna hai tujhe, qalb-e-mahoul mein larzaan sharar-e-jang hain aaj,” (Arise, my love, for now you must march with me, flames of war are ablaze in our world today). It, of course, has become a part of folklore that the then-unmarried Shaukat decided that she would only be the wife of the poet.
At the Inkpot India Conclave’s session on Gender Inequality: Men Are From Mars and Women From... Subjugation? author Neelima Adhar, recited Kaifi’s lines, raising the question that why is there a need to fight for equality when there are such men who are sensitive towards women, and want them to walk beside them?
Neelima didn’t agree to the idea of a conversation on this topic. She said, “I don’t subscribe to this title that men are from Mars and women are either from Venus or subjugated. I am not a feminist. I am a happy and proud woman.” Neelima argued that there is nothing like being equal or subjugated. “Every gender has a different space. And everyone wants that space to be respected,” added she.
Other panelists disagreed and pointed out that Indian women are subjugated and confined to their homes and child rearing. They are exploited sexually and men (even a lot of other women) often are misogynistic in their treatment. Though Neelima agreed to this but she questioned the point of the conflict? “You have a space, occupy that, we have a space we’ll occupy that,” said she.
Talking about the Hindu mythology, she said, “In ancient times, women were the power centres because they could procreate. They were powerful. They could have as many husbands as they liked and change partners.” But she agrees to the fact that somewhere down the line the Hindu ethos has changed.
Neelima pointed out that attempts are being made to empower women and make them aware of their rights. Even in the government departments there are think tanks and ministries whose job is to empower women. There’s rapid change in the mindset of the people. Social change too is taking place. Exposure and communication have become so vast and intense that women refuse to be subjected to atrocities. The momentum of change will keep on gaining strength and intensity.
“I am a privileged citizen. So I can say that I don’t care about gender inequality. But the average Indian still feels that they suffer because of it,” she said.
Pointing towards films that are being made she said that the awareness about women’s rights has become profound. There is a shift in the attitude that ‘we don’t want a girl child.’ Though we may not agree, as the male gaze in commerical films is intense and sexualises women.
Another panelist, Nandini Bhalla, editor of a magazine believes that even though women are now doing so much more and breaking the glass ceiling, they are not taught the word “ambition” as whenever a women mentions the word, it carries a negative connotation. We think that she is shrewd or a difficult person but we don’t see it the same way when it comes to men. She said, “If a man says he is ambitious, he is seen as a go-getter. So women should be taught that it is good to be ambitious. There are so many of them who don’t want to be seen as too career-oriented. But it cannot be emphasised enough that there is nothing wrong in it. We have to sensitise women about being comfortable with ambition. Only when we feed these thoughts in their mind, we can achieve equality.”
Female mentorship is also critical. Various studies have found that most of the women do not want to work with female bosses. But Bhalla feels that this is a huge flaw as women can be the best mentors for other women as they have fought for their rights. When women support their own kinds and teach them skills, it can help us bring about a change.
Even today there is a serious pay gap which signals that there is a need to talk about equality. Bhalla said that if there was equality we wouldn’t have been having this conversation. But it is good to have conversations as they lead to change.
She talked about how feminism is often being misunderstood as dominating men. But instead it means being equal to them. “There is no equality, so we need feminism.”
