Author Sadia Dehlvi on Khushwant Singh being her confidante
It was easy to impress Khushwant Singh. I first met him in 1981 at the Arab Cultural Centre where my friend Ameena Ahmed was showcasing her calligraphy works. He walked up to me and asked, ‘Why are you so beautifulIJ’ I replied, ‘Because I am a beautiful person.’ He invited me at his house the next evening and we developed a bond over time. I used to meet him over lunches and coffees. Gradually I started accompanying him on his tours. He often invited me to his home, ‘Ghar aaja..aaj falana aa raha hai.’ (Come home, so and so will be here). I met people from all walks of life at his place. From meeting VIPs like PMs, presidents and ministers to musicians, godmen and people from villages, I had several enriching experiences. With time, Khushwant knew all my secrets. He was my humraaz. With him, all my secrets have gone. He never let my secrets out.
To me, he was a friend, guide and mentor and a confidante. There was nobody like him in this world. He had a sense of compassion, generosity, truthfulness and was governed by principles of secularism. What set him apart from the rest was his knack of making women feel special. All of us will remember him for his gestures that he would often make to make us comfortable and proud.
He never asked for a favour in life. He once told me, ‘Maine Padma Vibhushan nahi maanga aur na hi kuch aur. Sab apne aapa aaya hain.’ (I have never asked for Padma Vibhushan or anything else. Every thing came on its own). He had a sense of accomplishment. He would often go out of his way to help others. One guy used to call him every day and abuse him. He got so worried about him after the fellow stopped calling. In another incident, a lady called him and asked for some flask. He asked me to do the needful. Before I could buy it, he had got one and delivered it. Whenever I would confront him for all inexplicable favours, he would say, ‘Kya fark padta hainIJ’ (How does it matterIJ)
He was ready to leave the world at least 10 years ago. Many times he told me, ‘I want to go.’ He was fascinated by death. He never said he was an atheist. He was proud to be a Sikh and was also close to Manmohan Singh and his family. On his birthdays, he would get cakes from PM’s house and like a child, he would call me and say, ‘Aaja PM ke ghar se cake aaya.’ (Come there’s a cake from PM’s house).
I had produced a television show Not A Nice Man to Know with him as a host. He used to interview women from different walks of life. I had a major problem getting him into good clothes. He said, ‘I’m the worst dressed man in India. I don’t wish to change that reputation.’ But I bullied him. So I took measurements from his wife and got a new kurta tailored for him. I told him the producers are annoyed so we have to do it. After nakhras, he finally accepted it.
I also dedicated my second book to him though he got upset when I informed him that I would dedicate the book to him and the city of Delhi. ‘How could you share attentionIJ’ he asked me. So I dropped the initial idea and gave him full credit. He was always fond of attention. He used to get excited whenever PM or president or a significant leader would call him. In fact, he wanted to go in a celebrated manner. He wanted all media and paparazzi to be around him when he was leaving the world. My last interaction with him was regarding Ghalib poetry, which he started following in his twilight years. He has left behind an unrepairable void in our lives. We have got so much to learn and read from him.
(As told to Karan Bhardwaj)
