A survey reveals that the definition of an affair has evolved beyond physical and now includes emotional and social media engagement too
Can you decode the evolution of married relationships in India and the importance of trust and loyalty between partners? Well, Hotstar in partnership with Mindshare and Unomer recently released an independent research that seeks to understand India’s view on infidelity.
Soon on the heels of its latest show Out of Love that deals with the aftermath of infidelity and the myriad choices that people are faced with, the study tried to decipher the mindset of Indian married individuals across age groups and cities. Almost 50 per cent of Indians are insecure in marriage, revealed the research. As per the survey, insecurity in marriage looms over as half of all respondents feel the need to pry, with 45 per cent of people wanting to check their partner’s phone without their knowledge and 55 per cent people who have already done it.
Interestingly, almost 62 per cent people in love marriages feel the need to check their partners’ phones. The survey further reported that suspicion of infidelity is higher in the North and East with 32 per cent and 31 per cent respectively, whereas West and South reported a 22 per cent to 20 per cent suspicion rate. Around 52 per cent respondents from Mumbai and 56 per cent from Delhi claimed to have checked their partner’s phone without their knowledge.
Dr Ramon Llamba, life coach, therapist and quantum medicine doctor, said, “We as human beings are naturally driven by behavioural mechanisms called emotional drivers. People who have security and control as their primary driver have this innate desire to feed their emotions, be in control of their environment and feel secure by finding out information. This mechanism at a subconscious level drives them to spy on their partner’s phone or email.”
For 50 per cent of Indians, infidelity is not just about a physical relationship. Over the past few years, the definition of ‘an affair’ has evolved beyond the physical aspect of a relationship which now includes emotional and social media engagement as well. While 47 per cent of people claim that physical intimacy is the worst form of cheating, 37 per cent feel the same way about emotional infidelity. As social media dominates personal time, 16 per cent respondents are bothered by social media infidelity.
Dr Llamba said, “There are various types of infidelity, some that happen out of purely physical needs and some where emotions have a stronger meaning. Cheating is not planned. It happens because humans have no control over their feelings or emotions. Often they realise there is a void that they are trying to fill which could be either psychological, emotional or physical.”
When faced with infidelity, will Indians forgive, forget or fight? As per the survey, 78 per cent will be bold about confronting infidelity. Having said that, almost 50 per cent are willing to forgive their partners whereas 20 per cent are willing to forget and the rest 30 per cent claim they will fight it out. Reasons to forgive range from acceptance citing it as a ‘one-time thing,’ to kids and future holding prime importance or even feeling societal or family shame. Delhi has one of the higher rates of people who will choose to fight with 38 per cent, while 48 per cent from Mumbai will choose to forgive.
Dr Llamba added, “People choose to forgive because the partner who has been cheated upon makes an emotionally smart decision. At the core, humans forgive because there’s a silent voice that says it’s a natural phenomenon. The next big reason is having a family and they do not want to disrupt their lives by taking any drastic step.”
The survey was carried out with 1,088 married respondents in the age-group of 18-64 years from across metros and tier 1 towns with a 50:50 male: female ratio.