She was termed as an outsider in a country where she was born. Meera Syal, the British Indian actor and writer, explains how she was perceived as someone not real and who could live a complex and flawed life. In a chat with Riya Sharma, she opens up how her generation was the bridge between two cultures
She started writing out of frustration. When she began her career in acting, she seemed not satisfied with the roles that were offered to her. Meera Syal, British-Indian comedian, writer and actress started writing when she understood that she doesn’t have to wait for a call by someone who will give her a role that she aspires for. She rather picked up her pen and wrote roles which were real, flawed and complex. In a candid chat, she shares stories of nostalgia which lingered and the sacrifices her parents made while immigrating.
At the beautiful resort of le Meridien in Jaipur as the backdrop with a chill in the air, Syal before her session talked to us. Dressed in red Jaipuri plazo, she seemed delighted, “The hospitality is great here. This is my first time in Jaipur but I have my family in Dilli (in her Punjabi accent) and Punjab. You know what, I never set out to writing, I started writing because there were no good roles for actresses like me (referring to South Asian actresses). Initially, I was given the roles like victim of an arranged marriage, nothing was complex or funny or anything related to women I knew or woman I actually was. I am talking about the real, flawed , complex, layered characters — the way we all are. I thought I had no power because I was waiting for some guy to call and hire me but that was the time when I realised that writers have the power. If you write, you need to write a good script. And you can show, we have other stories to tell. And selfishly get better work.” (laughs)
Syal’s parents moved to England in 1960s and she was born in England. This is the reason why everything she writes has an influence from the country. “I think everything that I have written has the influence of India because that describes my relationship to India. This can be nostalgic, old fashioned, sentimental and very important, it is still a community for us, it is a place from where we get our lot of emotional nourishment and many of us have family here. Indians are all over the world and wherever we go, we take our culture with us,” she shared.
Syal who wrote Bhaji on the Beach in 1992 explained that curiosity is the key word for her and this is the reason why she loves her job. “I I grew up in a Punjabi household of Britain and we were the first generation born in Britain. And of course, everybody expected their kids to become a doctor or a pharmacist. My extended family and friends were surprised to know that an Indian girl wanted to do English drama and they said, ‘What are you going to do with thatIJ’ Nobody wants a brown woman to teach their children English. And, my parents were the ones who encouraged me to follow the creative path. They said, ‘If you are passionate about something, you will work hard for it.’ They had the wisdom to let me be curious,” she said.
But, she agreed that the situation has definitely changed for the younger generation. “Things are definitely different for my children. I think the gap of culture clash is less dark for them. We were objects of curiosity, and people saw us as outsiders. They did not see us as real as someone living a complex and flawed life. They saw us as others and that is not the issue for the younger generation now. The present generation is living in multicultured society. We had to become the bridge between two cultures and that made us hard working and in my case, very desperate to tell my story. I wanted our experiences to be recorded and matter and to tell people, that this is our experience,” she pointed out.
As a child she thought that something was strange with her. During her family gatherings, the writer would stand somewhere in the corner and would laugh on her pretentious relatives. “ I found my childhood very funny, and I was the only one laughing. I would be standing in a corner and giggling about some pretentious uncle or the aunty and nobody used to laugh. This was the basis for the show, Goodness Gracious Me and when we all ( me, Sanjeev Bhaskar, Kulvinder Ghir, and Nina Wadia) started working together, it felt like coming back home. People asked me — ‘Is your remote control covered in plasticIJ’ I would say, ‘Yes it is.’ ‘Do you have a drawer full of tupperwareIJ’ ‘Yes we do.’ And that was the best thing It was very British, and it was very Indian at the same time. We just put our thoughts together and we honestly did not think that anybody else would find it funny. It was very unapologetic, that was the time when people understood that we had a sense of humour. We were funny, we could take jokes about ourselves, and we could joke about them,” she laughed.
Though Syal is in the position to comment from both perspectives— someone who had roots here and someone who was born there yet she believes that feeling of belongingness has always been natural. “Indians who immigrate, they try to recreate the atmosphere, they would live in the same area so that they can hear the same language. I remember when letters from India would come and my mom would cry for half an hour. I used to dread that. And she used to blame herself by saying, ‘It is my fault.’ Those are the moments when you realise everything your parents left behind. For my dad, it was even more difficult. Because, he was the victim of Partition, he was from lahore. He came to Delhi and lived in a refugee camp and had nothing. And then to displace again, what a generation they are, I must say. They are amazing people. I had to justify the sacrifices my parents made by becoming successful and making them proud,” she said.
Talking about her book, The House of Hidden Mothers, Syal explained that it happened by accident. One day while flipping through the channels, the image of poor, Indian women sitting on doom beds crossed her mind and that became the basis of her story. “While flipping through the channels, I saw a documentary about surrogacy. It is a massive industry here because it is cheaper in India than anywhere else. I wrote about a British-Indian woman who hires an Indian woman and how their relationship evolve. It is about two women who are miles away from each other and desperately need each other. Shyama is 48, British- Indian woman who wants a baby, she thinks, ‘Am I a colonial exploiter who is hiring a womb or am I changing someone’s life.’ For me, it was a great matter to explore the relationship between them.