The ‘bois locker room’ case is not the disease, rather it is the manifestation of the many symptoms that have been eroding our social set-up over the years. Experts tell Saimi Sattar that the causes are not just inter-related but feed off each other
It started with a small trickle with the sharing of screenshots of chats of an Instagram group by an individual and, within a few hours, became a deluge. Soon social media was agog with the workings of the (now infamous) ‘bois locker room,’ where boys (and girls) spoke graphically about girls their age. Within three days, there have been enough twists and turns to match a thriller with arrests, leaking of more chats and name calling. But this is certainly not the first, and certainly not the last case where juveniles have been involved in cyber crime.
Experts who follow juvenile behaviour acquiesce. Dr Samir Parikh, Director and Head of Department of Mental Health and Behavioural Sciences, Fortis Healthcare says that the case didn’t come as a surprise. “We are basically a hibernating society and need something to wake us up for some days, intellectualise it and then return to slumber. There are million other incidents out there,” he says.
Supreme Court advocate Pavan Duggal, who specialises in Cyberlaw says, “The lockdown period has seen the highest spike in cyber crime in 20 years since the internet was introduced in India.”
Of course, there are a number of reasons why such incidents take place.
PARENTS: THE FIRST LINE OF CONTROL
Societal norms hold parents responsible for bringing up children and imparting values. Consequently, the first fingers always point in their direction whenever youngsters are involved in behaviour that is deemed unacceptable. Dr Geetanjali Kumar, counselling psychologist and parenting coach for 22 years points out the gaps in present-day parenting. “Children have a sense of entitlement which springs from guilt compensatory parenting. The latest phones, the smartest TV in each bedroom are gifted by adults to make up for not spending time with children.” The question to ask is why do youngsters need these rather than fulfilling every whim.
An extension of this is the way parents cover up their wards’ misdemeanours. “There is no sense of ownership and responsibility as we haven’t made them realise that every action has consequences,” says Dr Kumar. A missed test in school sees parents shooting off explanatory letters. “If the child hasn’t finished the assigned work, we are quick to say it doesn’t matter and we will pay the tutor,” says Dr Kumar. The boundaries for the lack of responsibility keep on extending to underage or drunken driving and more.
Etishree Bhati, clinical psychologist, says, “There are two kinds of parents. Ones who approach the problem calmly and question whether it was curiosity or sexual arousal that made the child do this? The other kind are harsh and don’t try to understand the reasons. Their children are more likely to engage in this behaviour repeatedly, of course, secretly.”
Role modelling too comes into play. When the first thing a parent does in the morning is to scroll the mobile, how can they admonish the child for the same?
BLURRED LINES
Society is in a state of flux where the greys are more prominent while the clear-cut demarcation between right and wrong has been obliterated. Rajat Mitra, Professor of Clinical Psychology, Amity University, who has worked extensively with juveniles and appeared in several hundred cases in court to assist its proceedings says, “Many parents are indifferent and haven’t taken any assertive stand about value formation.” He recalls an incident when Delhi Police found minors, both girls and boys, from upper middle class families in a state of undress and engaging in sexual acts in a public place. “Parents dismissed the behaviour by saying that the children were just having fun post exams. Right and wrong have become relative unlike in the past when values were absolute,” points out Mitra further elaborating that most people feel that if it seems right, it must be so.
Bhati extends the argument further. She points out that 15 years ago, educators were talking about limiting children’s screen time on parents’ device and now every child has a personal one. “During lockdown, children retreat to their rooms on the pretext of online classes but neither the parents nor the teachers are aware of what they are doing. Even during a class they might be chatting or visiting adult sites,” she says.
DEVIANT BEHAVIOUR
These blurring lines and easy access to pornography, with inherent violence, without any influence of ethics has repercussions. Mitra says, “Between 15-20 per cent adolescents get into violent sexual fantasies and some actually commit them.”
Violent and vulgar sexual language seen in the ‘bois locker room’ screenshots is indicative of a violent streak. “This violence associated with the crime gives them a high more than the crime itself,” says Mitra.
Another attribute of the young is the love of risk taking. Dr Kumar says, “The regulatory mechanism of the brain which advises caution isn’t developed as yet which makes the prohibited more attractive.”
MOB MENTALITY
What sparked outrage about the ‘bois locker room’ incident was that it consisted of a group, rather than just individuals, engaging in lewd conversations. Mitra explains, “The boys give collective shape to the violent fantasies as they don’t have to feel individual guilt. It is the same psychology at work when crowds burn, kill, loot and rape in the actual world absolving individual responsibility. This is replicated digitally.”
DISCONNECT IN EMOTIONS
Often we have seen that even at dinner tables people are glued to their individual mobiles. This effectively means a lack of communication. “Even the sibling bond isn’t strong as children do not even watch TV together,” says Dr Kumar.
A lack of communication leads to an inability to express emotions and a scarcity of emotional vocabulary. “We need to generate thinking with a logical and emotional perspective where you can define the whys and hows of emotions. Children get frustrated because they can’t talk to anyone about their concerns like changing body, hormone surge and more,” she adds.
CHANNELING RAGING HORMONES
The lack of communication means that they lack the arsenal to deal with their raging hormones. “Will it be done respectfully or in a vulgar fashion is what makes or breaks the situation. I’ve had cases where 15-year-old girls have shared explicit photographs with boys and when discovered, threatened to slash their wrists if the parents say anything. The boys asking for photographs and the girls doing it willingly all point in the direction,” says Kumar.
MEDIA: THE FAVOURITE PUNCHING BAG?
A change in the visual and vocabulary landscape of the media with the advent of first, cable television, and now, OTT platforms has been blamed for many societal ills. Dr Parikh says, “Attitudes and behaviours are formed by observation and imitation. The most accessible observable source is the media. Lack of censorship is taken as a sign of free thinking but if we see the top two-three shows on any streaming platform and their language, sexual portrayals as well as violence, we can see what the children were influenced by.” He says that, as a deterrent, there should be a band at the bottom, highlighting the negative impact the way it is done with alcohol and cigarettes.
He points out that in the last decade we have deteriorated value-wise in the content. He gives the examples of dance shows featuring children and says, “Have you seen the expressions and movements of six-year-olds?”
Of the new media, the social kind has the singular largest impact. When in the the adult world, it is commonplace to see violent, sexual and false narratives in social media as a way of bringing down independent women, what makes us think that children would be immune from the behaviour? Parikh too agrees, “Often Twitter trends have an abusive word and children do use it.”
LACK OF RESPECT FOR WOMEN AND LAWS
“Do you know who is my father?” is a refrain that all of us have heard often in reel and real life. Mitra says, “Many children grow up in homes where they hear their parents openly talk of flouting laws and bribing police.”
Coupled with the lack of respect for law is an extremely derogatory view of women. They grow up in cultures where women have get no respect or empathy. “This makes them incapable of empathetic or caring relationships,” says Mitra.
ROLE OF SCHOOLS
After parents, schools are supposed to influence and educate children. Bhati says, “They haven’t been able to talk about emotional closeness and a fulfilling relationships. They aren’t imparting sex education and even if they are, children today believe that they know-it-all.”
Dr Kumar, a pioneer in sex education was associated with the first adolescent education programme launched by United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) in 2002-3, says, “I start the talk on a neutral note and when I come to the topic of sex education, the vibrant discussion becomes lukewarm.” Other gaps include the lack of counselling despite the presence of psychologists and counsellors.
WHAT DOES THE LAW SAY?
Duggal says, “Children accessing the internet have the basic presumption that they know more than their parents.” Add to it the fact that the IT Act of 2000 which was amended in 2008 made all the offenses bailable. People on bails deleted the electronic evidence against themselves. Consequently, there has been a famine of cyber crime convictions giving children the impression that the law is inadequate to catch them. “The fact that we haven’t got any exemplary conviction in the 17 years since 2003 makes youngsters reckless,” says the lawyer who was the counsel for the first cyber crime conviction for the complainant in 2003. There has been a massive change in technology and a more holistic, topical Act which takes into account that most cyber offenses are committed by youngsters is needed.
In this case, the juveniles would at the most be sent to corrective homes or advised counselling. “Even in the applicable Act, Section 67 and 67 (A) which deal with sharing obscene electronic content against a woman were invoked by the police but they should have included Section 67 (B) which would deal with child pornography,” says Duggal.
MOVING AHEAD
While this is one more in the series of offenses which have been committed, we cannot keep on moving our threshold further. Dr Parikh says, “The only hope is to create filters in young minds to minimise damage to belief systems, attitudes and behaviours. Gender sensitisation has to be a priority.”
In a time when exposure is inevitable, the least we can do is protect children. “Media literacy should be taught in schools along with other subjects. This would enable them to question, ‘Is it right?’ ‘How would this make me feel if it happened to me or my loved one?’ ‘Are they selling a product by using a celebrity?’” says Dr Parikh. Along with this, the media too needs self censorship, self realisation and responsibility.
Bhati emphasises on appropriate age-related sex education while Dr Mitra says that parents, schools and friends need to watch out for cues from adolescent. “There is a need for preventive action and greater awareness.”
For this particular case, Dr Kumar says, “The parents and the children need to be counselled both in groups and individually. They should be encouraged to accept their mistake and then only is it possible to move forward.” As for the larger picture, she feels parents and schools should work in tandem to reinforce values. “Counsellors in schools have to upgrade their skills. The lockdown is a time for schools to go inward and find out and address problems in their vision.”
Only time will tell if the corrective actions will be put in place or if we will just slip back into slumber till the next and even more heinous offense grabs eyeballs.