Rajyogi Brahmakumar Nikunj says that we must learn to forgive to get rid of bitter emotions
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. Forgiveness, like so many other things in life, is easier said than done. We all seek forgiveness when we do anything wrong but our stance is quite different when someone seeks forgiveness from us. WhyIJ Because we find it hard to let go of what’s happened with us. We must remember that forgiveness can only occur because we have been given the gift of the ability to make choices.
Hence, if we want to forgive someone no one can stop us no matter how poorly they may act because ultimately its our choice to forgive or not to forgive. This ability to forgive is a manifestation of the personal control we have over our lives.
Most of us regret things that we have said or done in the past. It’s a fact that we all have acted wrongly at some time or the other. However,with time and knowledge, we realise what is right and make amends. Just by having this desire to change ourself, we begin the process of forgiving self which helps us to forgive others. If we do not learn to forgive, resentment will poison us and we would end up carrying double burden, that is, both of resentful thoughts of others’ injustice and the hidden reality of our own injustice. Hence, the only way to release ourselves from these bitter emotions is to forgive.
The power to forgive comes from compassion, which means we should compassionately and peacefully move forward with what is good, towards what is better. To forgive and forget is love in action. But we must learn to forgive ourselves, as well as others, otherwise the process of releasing the burden would neither begin nor progress. Forgiving ourselves means letting go of the past. But it also means not making the same mistakes again and again; not inventing convenient ways to excuse ourselves.
A person who has hardened his own heart against others cannot feel even God’s forgiveness and compassion. Hence, if we want to be forgiven, then we must be willing to forgive first because the one who forgives first not only proves his justice, but especially proves his love. That is why it is said that ‘a life well lived is your best revenge’. So, instead of focussing on your wounded feelings, learn to look for love, beauty and kindness around you.