Rajyogi Brahmakumar Nikunj says yapping about others can be avoided by talking to the inner self instead
Hey you know my neighbour’s daughter is having an affair with a boy staying on first floor!”
“Hey you know my friend in office made a heavy loss in the share market.”
“Hey you know my aunty’s daughter’s son took admission in school by paying a hefty amount as donation.”
From trains to buses, offices and marriage functions,during a telechat, in parks and nearly everywhere, all of us like to gossipIJ And we seem to enjoy it too.
The only time we dislike it, is when someone gossips about us. So what is this whole communication pursuit that binds people and communities together and makes them forget their worries and tensionIJ
Years of research by psychologists shows that people who don’t feel good about themselves, like it when they share intimate details about others in the social domain. It gives them a high. And a feeling of superiority over others.
In some cases, it has been observed that peer pressure pushes a person into sharing details about others, just to make him stick to a group.
With the mass media explosion, we now see infinite gossip columns and articles on celebrities that steals our attention on a day to day basis. In such a scenario, avoiding gossip is ideal.
But some people believe it gives us a warm feeling after sharing stories about mutual acquaintances with a group of friends. So why make a big deal out of itIJ
Those who claim gossiping is a harmless activity, fail to understand its ill effects. This is seen in the form of anger, shame and frustration that one feels when they learn that someone is spreading malicious news about their personal lives. We have seen murders happening because of this habit of gossiping. We see broken homes because of distrust between husband and wife. Interpersonal relationships sour due to rumours floated by people close to us. So one needs to have second thoughts about problems that arise when we gossip.
If not gossip, then whatIJ As social animals, we need to have something to keep our mind busy and status happy. The best and safest way is to engage ourself in talking to the self.
It’s an art that helps discover new horizons. Why do we need someone on the opposite side to share somethingIJ Why can’t we go within and talk to our inner self, diving into the Almighty’s ocean of love with an enlightened sixth sense.
We look out because we are not able to dive within. Once we learn to do it, there won’t be any need for us to look outside at all. So try it out for yourself.
(The writer is an international speaker, spiritual educator and experienced meditation teacher)