Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony,” Mahatma Gandhi once said.
What is happiness? This question has been elusive from time immemorial. The Greek philosopher Plato said, “Happiness or well-being (Eudaimonia), is the highest aim of moral thought and virtues are the requisite skills and dispositions to attain it.”
Without getting into the rut of definitions one can conclusively say that it’s a state of mind. When a child plays with a pebble or clay, he feels happy. Someone else may feel happy by witnessing nature’s beauty and a host of other things. There are no fixed rules to become happy. However, the cause of happiness is identifiable. At various stages of life, it may vary according to the need and requirements of life.
A person is always found to be in the pursuit of happiness, which is, as Aristotle puts it, the sole purpose of human existence. There might be situations where one’s aspirations have been met, yet the person is not happy. The state of happiness loses its course and the person is drawn into the state of anxiety or boredom.
At this stage of life, it is very important to identify the cause of happiness as well as unhappiness.
Being honest with oneself is the first thing one can do. In the constant state of denial, one cannot identify the root cause of your suffering. When someone is happy with a particular food, cloth, automobile, ornament etc. the simple solution is to acquire it.
At the same time, there are many intangible reasons which make a person happy or unhappy. The vicious circle of volatile vagueness and ambiguity makes a person vulnerable and susceptible to unhappiness. This circle originates from the thought process of the person. That is why it has been often repeated that happiness depends on ourselves only and no one else.
Among the main reasons for unhappiness are failures to achieve career, family or relationship goals. Uncertainty is another reason for unhappiness, whether it’s in family life, career, profession or a relationship. Lack of flexibility in approach towards anything also is a cause of concern which begets unhappiness. A rigid and stubborn approach creates a gap between hopes and despairs, between expectations, fulfillments and demand and supply. It may be quantitative or qualitative.
Comparison with others, as Jean Jacques Rousseau, a modern social scientist, rightly said that the principal source of human unhappiness was our tendency to make invidious comparisons in the present day modern civil society, whereas, cooperation was the cardinal principle in the state of nature.
Relative positions or status, either amongst the family members, kins, peers or the society is a major cause of unhappiness. It creates severe heartache and jealousy, if not handled positively. Breach of trust can cause severe mental and emotional agony in a person. Loss of life or property are some tangible reasons for unhappiness but it is identifiable. Here, the passage of time is the only healer, nothing else. Therefore, happiness can be achieved by becoming brutally honest with oneself and by sharing it with anyone, where one can repose his or her trust beyond doubt.
Communication is the key to sharing thoughts and emotions. A closed heart and mouth can create emotional turbulence and mental instability. A midlife crisis can lead a person to a state of saturation. Despite having all the material comforts of life one can always feel deprived of peace and tranquility, if a person is going through this phase of the crisis. This crisis has its origin in self-neglect and family fabric. The anxiety related to grown-up children’s future mimics again in a person’s life as it happened with himself, years ago.
Moreover, deteriorating physical and mental health leads to this kind of crisis. Conflict in the family works as a catalyst to accelerate this crisis. Societies, due to their inherent culture, customs and traditions have witnessed variations in their happiness goals. Stronger social norms sometimes also lead to unhappiness as the fear of sanction always looms large over the mind and the soul.
It’s a fact that a human being is a bundle of wide-ranging emotions, from happiness to sorrow and one cannot remain constantly in one state or another. The fragile nature of humanity is also its core identity. Nevertheless, the sense of gratitude and acceptance is the path leading to satisfaction which in turn produces happiness. The sheer dynamism in the ever-changing scenario of human life defines its purpose. Therefore, every individual can have his or her macro and micro-level goals, at various stages of life, to harvest the fruit of peace and happiness without causing any form of unhappiness to others.
A verse from Brihadaranayk Upanishad would always remain relevant: Sarve bhavantu sukhinah, sarve santu niramaya.
(The views are strictly personal.)