Halt the endless chatter

Acharya Ravi Kumar Sardana feels that overthinking is as poisonous as cyanide

One fine day one of my friend’s wives called me early in the morning and said that her husband has not been able to sleep properly for the last few days. He had taken a break from work and had not visited the office in the past week. She asked me to visit them so that I could talk to him and find out what was going on with him because he wasn’t sharing anything with his family members. Since it was a Sunday, after breakfast, I immediately rushed over to their residence.

On enquiring and assuring him that everything will remain between us, he shared what was troubling him. In short, he had been dwelling on the past. He could not stop mulling over matters such as some mistakes he had made during his bachelorhood, his shortcomings because of which he couldn’t do better in his life and some negative conversations which he had shared with a relative.

He was so concerned about matters that were well past him that they affected his present state of mind. I took him to the doctor who heard him out for an hour. My friend was diagnosed with severe depression and now is on medication.

Allow me to share another instance that came to mind. I have another client who always keeps thinking about his future. “I will do this and that. If he/she will say this, I will respond by saying this... When I buy a new car, we will go for an all India tour. What if...” and several other such thoughts, hypothesising about things which have no relevance today.

In the above cases, one is thinking about the past, things which have already occurred and cannot be changed at any cost, whether good or bad. In the second case, my client was too concerned about the future. Both were spoiling their present at the cost of their mental and physical health and their relations with others.

As per medical science, anxiety comes from worrying about the future and depression comes from worrying about the past. Ironically neither are in our control. There is a very fine line between overthinking and reflecting. While reflecting on our thoughts allows us to learn from our past mistakes so that we may not repeat them. Overthinking can change your equation with others. It can lead you to be unable to make a decision. Your sleep cycle may be affected because your body does not allow you to sleep when your mind is still working. Overthinking also causes emotional stress which goes on to affect our behaviour and thoughts, resulting in a chain reaction that eloquently affects our work life, social and personal life as well. And if it is not addressed at an early stage, it may cause anxiety and depression.

It has been medically proven that anxiety and depression can lead to suicidal tendencies. There are many cases where people have taken their lives because they were suffering from severe depression. You can avoid it quite easily. How?

Consider implementing the following suggestions/mentality in your lifestyle to ground yourself to the present:

• Never forget that you can't make people stay against their will, or leave if they don't wish to.
• Your body is listening to your mind, try not to feed it any negative thoughts.
• Develop the habit of writing a journal.
• Take up a hobby to keep yourself constructively busy.
• Spend time with your friends and family as often as you can.
• We are a momentary speck of consciousness in the larger scheme of things; don't forget that whatever you are going through, this too shall pass.
• Meditate daily, for 15 to 30 minutes; twice, daily, is possible. Meditation is intermittent fasting for your mind's constant chatter. It can help you in understanding your pain while lowering anxiety and stress. Don’t try to push yourself to meditate, there are numerous videos of guided meditation on the internet. A simple session of meditation could involve you sitting in a quiet space, where you focus on your breathing. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Focus on each breath as it makes its way in and out of your nostrils. Don't forget to be grateful for each breath you take.

• Don't forget to reach out to others for help when you feel overwhelmed. We are only mere mortals after all. Humans have been interdependent since time immemorial. Your thoughts and feelings are valid and there is no reason to be ashamed of expressing your need for assistance

Overthinking is not a disease, it is the symptom of a disease. Kill it before it kills you.

(The author is a life coach, tarot card reader and motivational