Common friends are no longer required to hook you up with someone as the dating app/sites allow you to simply scroll or swipe to pick or reject your suitable partner. This strong bond between individuals and their smartphone first has also changed the way we interact. By Rupinder Kaur
Swipe right if you like the fellow human being whose profile you’re surreptitiously stalking on your phone screens and if he/she doesn’t match your profile or their bio is too cheesy, then swipe left. looking for a random hook up, a suitable partner (who also might turn into your significant other), or looking for some chums to hang-out withIJ The first step, of approaching the significant other with awkwardness, has now been simplified with the advent of the online dating apps and websites or has itIJ
“The dating and matchmaking space is growing really fast and is getting crowded with players old and new,” says matchmaking app Woo’s co-founder and CEO Sumesh Menon. “With technology playing a major role in peoples’ lives, things are changing. With the growing trends of online dating in India, swipes have become casual and meaningless as they trivialise the complexity of human connections and turn the decision into a superficial ‘hot or not’. There is a need to create real conversations and not just matches. This is the problem that we solve for you. We have an active and vibrant community conversing everyday,” he shares.
The strongest bonds are no longer between two individuals but between an person and his/her smartphone. “We now have at our fingertips, access to countless profiles of singles. The choice is unlimited. While that may seem like a good thing, and to some extent more choice is better, it also means that people are spending an inordinate amount of time on their mobile phones as against actually meeting others in real life. When we speak with singles, they are appreciative of the choices, but also lament that their relationships have become more complex with dating apps,” says Siddharth Mangharam, CEO of dating website Floh.
This has further changed the way people interact with each other these days. “A single person today needs to have a witty one-liner for every person they meet on a dating app. It can be stressful. Also, my sense is that since there is so much choice, or rather the perception of choice, it also makes people always be on the lookout for ‘another person who is better than the one I can currently date or who I am currently dating’. This does make relationships a bit more fleeting, Mangharam told us.
But Sachin Bhatia, CEO and co-founder at TrulyMadly (dating app) thinks the change is positive. “India does not have a strong dating culture and it is not easy for singles to discover each other outside of their immediate social circles. The app plays a hugely positive role by allowing singles to find each other without necessitating a common friend. This wasn't possible until dating apps were around,” he says.
Many, especially women, are often apprehensive of getting into some online loving fearing the creeps but the admins make sure the screening is done at various levels before anyone can even set up a profile. “We analyse every user’s digital footprint to verify their relationship status and professional information. There are three layers of screening which we do to ensure the authenticity of our user — technical screening, manual screening and community feedback. On an average, 30 per cent of signups are rejected daily if they don't meet our stringent standards. But no amount of technology in the world can supersede the user's own judgment and discretion on whether or not they want to interact with someone, in real life or otherwise,” shares Woo’s Menon.
The app doesn’t allow married people to sign up and “in the overall design of the app, women can see a lot more information about the men, than vice versa. This is to inspire confidence among the women while they are interacting, and also let them in completely in control of their personal details, when they chat with someone,” he further informs.
Floh’s Mangharam tells us, “Once we are convinced of the applicant’s genuineness, we extend an invitation to join the network. They have to provide government issued ID to become members. Once the applicant has received an invitation, they have to make a payment to subscribe to the service. This is an important step in establishing seriousness of intent. Each member is given a copy of the ‘House Rules’ and they have to confirm that they will abide by the rules. Any violation of the house rules is dealt with firmly and swiftly. We have a ‘one strike and you’re out’ policy.”
TrulyMadly also weeds out the married folks or those in a relationship.
But these apps can also be a double-edged swordIJ Says Mangharam, “Well, what we have seen at Floh is the evolution of a spectacular community of like-minded people, unlike anything that India has witnessed before. We have seen great friendships develop, marriages happen, and deep bonds form between our members. We’ve also seen people find jobs through others they have met here.”