SHAlINI SAKSENA speaks to transgenders at the 5th Hijra Habba held in the Capital recently wherein members of the community came together to showcase their talent and spread the message that all citizens are equal
This is the first time that I am inside a shopping mall. I am from a small village in West Bengal. Back home, people look at us as if we are weird. But in Delhi, we have been invited. Interacting with people will help us overcome our fear. I hope that people will realise that we are not different from them,” Nisha Rehman, a transgender, tells you.
Twenty-one year-old Nisha was born as Naseer. As a child, she hated playing with boys her age. Cricket and other outdoor games didn’t interest her. She preferred to stay indoors and wear lipstick. She wondered why she was different but really didn’t care much till the children in school started to tease her. Her family would thrash her whenever he was caught dressing up as a girl. Things came to a head when Nisha turned 14.
“I tried explaining to my family that I didn’t feel like a boy. The more I acted like a girl, the more I was beaten up. Finally, I could no longer take the beatings and ran away. I knew that I was different, how different I came to know later. I had to work to feed and clothe myself. I did odd jobs. When I turned 19, I started working at a place where they taught me how to make baskets and other small items from bamboo. There were others like me. It was here that I learnt all there was to know about what it meant to be a transgender. I learnt to be comfortable with who I was,” explains Nisha who likes to dress up when she goes out since she doesn’t get an opportunity to do so otherwise.
“It is not as if we are called for family functions where we can go decked up. Whatever few opportunities we get, we like to take advantage of them and let the world know we are fashion conscious too. Back home, we wear what any other average girl would wear — jeans, T-shirts, tops and salwar-kurtas,” Nisha says. But it was an uphill task to get acceptability and also be comfortable in that skin so that people around her didn’t treat him differently.
“It was not enough to understand that I was a woman. The challenge was to be able to make others around us accept us. I don’t understand why people find it difficult to accept the way we are. Why do we have to be slotted into only two categoriesIJ What is wrong in being a transgenderIJ If I can accept the fact that I am not a boy even though I was born one, why can’t othersIJ” Nisha asks.
Agrees Aakruti Patel from Vadodara. Born as Ajay, this 27-year-old who works as a project manager with the NGO lakshya Trust, asserts having the option of falling into two just categories — man or woman — is unfair. Where will people like us goIJ If I am a woman trapped in a man’s body should I not have the right to wear the skin that makes me feel comfortableIJ” she questions.
Aakruti tells you that even as a child she wanted to be like her mother. She had seen her mother’s struggle and was in awe of how she faced each problem — raising two daughters and a son (Aakruti) — all alone since their father left them.
“I wanted to be like my mother. I used to wear her lipstick and sarees. She was such a brave lady. She was my inspiration and was close to her. Growing up, I took on her traits and mannerisms. I struggled for years to come to terms with what was happening to me. I was 18 when I found the answers I was looking for. My sisters didn’t approve. They were angry. They had wanted a brother and here I was wanting to be a woman,” recalls Aakruti who underwent a sex change in 2015.
life has since changed for her. As Ajay, she was free to be out till late with the boys. As Aakruti, she seldom hangs out with the same bunch of friends. “They don’t understand and make fun of me. I don’t want to be humiliated all the time. Second, I am now a woman. There is every chance that I will be physically abused. As a boy, these things never entered my mind but now every step I take, I need to be careful. I am a known face. There are people who would like to take advantage of the situation,” Aakruti says. She was the first person from Gujarat to have undergone a sex change operation. She also tells you that while hijras are transgenders, not all transgenders are hijras.
The NGO that she works for is involved in creating HIV/AIDS awareness and prevention among gays, bi-sexuals and transgenders.
“A key area of counselling is in school where we educate teachers to deal with children struggling with identity crises. Kids in schools can be very mean and that can leave deep scars on the psyche of the child. If the situation is properly dealt with, such a child can at least finish schooling. It has been found that most transgenders drop out at age 13-14 because of the teasing. But they can can finish school, they can go to college, join professional courses and be well-placed. This will give them the much needed confidence and acceptability that they are looking for,” Aakruti opines. life as a woman is tough but she is happy.
Events like the Hijra Habba (habba means celebration), which is in its 5th year, go a long way in creating awareness and an environment where transgenders can showcase their talent.
“With the theme Inclusion-All Citizens Equal, one hopes that the problems facing our community (being pushed out of education leading to illiteracy or semi-literacy, lack of livelihood options, lack of specific social welfare schemes, lack of access to life and health insurance schemes and physical, sexual, emotional trauma) will be addressed. “It will take a long time to find a solution but at least a step has been taken in the right direction,” Aakruti says.
The event aimed at increasing the visibility of the community, organising them to come together and creating a platform for a dialogue with stakeholders.
“This is the first time that we have gone public with Hijra Habba with the aim to changing the mindset of people. There is a Transgender Bill but many don’t know about it. We have seen transgenders begging at traffic signals. The effort is to remove the negativity and educate them. The effort is to also give transgenders self-confidence as they feel stigmatised and fear facing the public,” Sonal Mehta, chief executive of India HIV/AIDS Alliance, says, adding that when they had first started Hijra Habba there were only one or two leaders, today each State has five.
The approval of the Transgender Persons (Protection of Rights) Bill 2016, by the Cabinet, under the chairmanship of Prime Minister Narendra Modi was seen as a major step. However, come 2017 and they are still struggling to operationalise the Act and create a legitimate space for themselves in their homes, at work and in society in general.
Organisations like the India HIV/AIDS Alliance (Alliance India) have been working for the rights of key populations most vulnerable to HIV and on issues pertaining to transgenders and hijras. It has been implementing long-term programmes to support their health and human rights.
Yogeshwar Sharma, CEO, Select CityWalk where the event was held, feels that initiatives like Hijra Habba help the community join with the mainstream and get a platform to showcase their talent. “We promote such initiatives. We hope that this community will get noticed and slowly, the concept of inclusion will grow in the hearts of the people. The law has accepted them so why not the society,” Sharma asks.
There seems to be limited awareness and understanding of same-sex orientation and people whose gender identity and expression are incongruent with their biological sex.
“This is strange since our epics talk of transgenders. There are was Shikhandi and Brihannala in Mahabharat. We do have a history of transgender identities, cultures and experiences. Traditionally, they are accepted, celebrated and respected within our culture. What has changed nowIJ” Gauri Suresh Sawant, a transgender activist from Mumbai, asks. She is the director of Sakhi Char Chowghi Trust, Malad.
She was most recently seen on Kaun Banega Crorepati 9 and won Rs 25 lakh which she has pledged to building a residential complex for the children of sex workers. Not only this, earlier this year, Gauri was part of the Vicks ad campaign — Touch of Care.
life for this 37-year-old was a bed of thorns till she decided to leave home. It all began when she was caught wearing a bra under her T-shirt and culminated in her being thrown out of the house at age 17.
That’s when she met Ashok Row Kavi, a gay rights activist who gave her shelter and paid for her education. She later went through surgeries to complete her transition from man to woman. She tells you that transgender is an umbrella term for people whose gender identity and expression does not conform to the norms.
She is quick to point that at present, there is no need to go into the sub-sections of transgenders. “People first have to get used to seeing us walk among them freely. What is the need for classificationIJ like there are men and women, there can be transgenders too,” Gauri says.
She faced many challenges. The first, was to adopt a daughter of a sex worker and bring her up as heterosexual. To ensure that she didn’t imbibe the traits of a hijra, Gauri sent her to a hostel.
“At the end of the day, I am a mother. I want the best for her. Mother is a behaviour and anyone can become one. I am still fighting to legally adopt her. I have filed a petition with the Supreme Court. We are fighting for an identity as transgenders. The reason for this identity is important. Our journey is a transition from a man to a woman,” Gauri tells you.
She hopes that initiatives like Hijra Habba will help. “People are not scared of us nor are shunning us. They have now started to smile at us. They are asking us why we are begging. Communication is good, it opens doors. We have been given an opportunity where we can prove to others that we can be good entrepreneurs as well. This identity is good for us,” Gauri tells you, adding that her community has nothing to do with those who beg at red lights.
“Standing at a traffic signal and begging is not our culture, badhai is our culture. I can’t say who they are or why they are doing it. Our community has nothing to do with such people,” Gauri tells you.
Why do people from their community behave with such aggressionIJ “It is simple. Do you think twice while sitting next to a man or a womanIJ No. But if they see us sitting, even in the most crowded bus or the metro, people shun us — they don’t sit next to us. People treat animals better than they treat us. This hurts and it comes out as aggression. I am not saying that it is correct, just giving an explanation for our behaviour. This is our way of protecting ourselves. like there are bad men and women, there are some transgenders who are giving us a bad name too. But you can’t blame the entire community for the deeds of a few. We just want to be treated like normal people,” Satyashri Sharmila, a 35-year-old Karagattam dancer from Mumbai, says.
Sharmila, who works Alliance India as programme assistant and is the first person in Maharashtra to get a passport as a transgender, says there is need for a change in attitude. “What is the point of just us changing if the person in front of us has not changedIJ Over the years, we have changed, many of us speak fluent English and are highly qualified. We are extending our hand but the mainstream society has to reach out as well,” Sharmila opines.
Abhina Aher, a transgender activist working for India HIV/AIDS Alliance as associate director and is the founder of Dancing Queens — a dancing group of transgender people — tells you that things will take a long time to change.
“Yes, things have changed. Twenty years back, it was much tougher. We were categorise under one community — hijra. But this is not correct. Transgender is a bigger umbrella. To be judged all the time was tough. I was a victim of hate crime in school. I was the only child (son). My mother was a single parent. To convince her was tough. We lived under the same roof but had not spoken to each other for eight years. But before I went for a sex transition, I sat with her and tried once again. We cried for hours. Since then she has been with me at every step. She now speaks in favour of transgenders,” Aher says. Movies like The Danish Girl about to premiere on TV on October 15, 2017 on Sony le PlEX HD, will go a long way in creating awareness, she adds.
“How does a transgender sustain himself/herself if not beg on the streetsIJ When I came to Delhi, nobody would give me a house on rent. How many policies are there to make it possible for a trangender to find employmentIJ HR of companies says: ‘We want MBAs’. Where will you find a transgender that educated when the society shuns them and doesn’t let them studyIJ When we talk of responsibility, where is itIJ Are we open to hiring a transgenderIJ There are no Government policies that will help provide them jobs. Everbody has to employ us — media, TV channels included. We are looking at 40 lakh transgenders. We are here to stay and going to die anytime soon. We are not aliens. We need to be accepted the way we are,” Aher says.
Quote Unquote
One of the reasons why I adopted a girl child was to send a message across to other transgenders that they too can become mothers
— Gauri Sawant
I left home when I was 14. My father used to thrash me because I had feminine traits and wouldn’t play with boys. I still carry the marks on my back
— Nisha Rehman
I have not spoken to my sisters in years. They don’t like that I had a sex change. They are annoyed because they lost a brother (me)
— Aakruti Patel
The reason why we behave in a certain manner is because when the society shuns us we get hurt. That comes out as aggression. Not saying it’s correct just giving an explanation
— Satyashree Sharmila