love, compassion, goodness, and trustworthiness give us confidence, says AJIT KUMAR BISHNOI
life throws many challenges, some of which are quite tough. But we have no choice but to face them. If we don’t, they will come after us and inflict major damage on us. Read the following story.
Two persons madly in love got married. They were both qualified professionals and earned handsomely. After a couple of years, they felt that a child would complete their family. A child duly came; he was a handsome boy. This was great except that none of them was prepared to make any sacrifice for the boy. Since they lived in a nuclear family, they thought of employing a nanny for the boy.
This woman did what she knew was best, but without any active support from the boy’s parents, she was unable to discipline him. Naturally, his studies also suffered. This was known to both parents but they simply hoped that as the child would grow, he would mature. Obviously, this did not happen. By the time, they realised their mistake, the damage was already done. The boy had become a thoroughly spoiled brat. The nanny was fired. What could be done nowIJ Nothing much, they soon realised. Now they were stuck with a boy who was no good.
In this story, the parents were guilty of many shortcomings. They should not have thought of a child if they could not spare quality time. They should have woken up much sooner. They were highly selfish persons, who could not see beyond their careers. They forgot that a sapling has to be nurtured for it to grow into a fine tree; neglecting it will effectively kill it.
let us take some more weaknesses, which bring us a lot of grief; they make one’s life lot more challenging than it has to be. Some of them are: lust, anger, greed, jealousy, attachment and ignorance, and lust is the root cause of most of these weaknesses. I will use another story to make my point.
In the earlier story, there was neither attachment nor love; it was gross negligence of duty. This story is about being attached to a result. Most of us are guilty of this very common fault/weakness. This story is of another couple, who was diametrically opposite of the couple of the first story. They paid a lot of attention to their child, again an only child. While they were doing so, they were beginning to dream about what they would like their son to become. Everything went well till their son grew up. The question of career came up. The parents wanted him to become an officer in the Indian Administrative Service, whereas he wished to pursue a career in software engineering. Inevitably, there was a lot of acrimony. The parents failed to see their son’s viewpoint; they were too attached to what they wanted from him.
The moral of the story is don’t be attached to a particular result; try to see both sides, and there are always two sides of anything. In this material world, there is nothing like perfection. What we consider desirable for us will also have many flaws. For example, a large percentage of Indian parents want their children, even girls, to settle abroad. What they do not consider is that in their old age, they will be left alone.
Therefore, what does a wise person doIJ He or she develops many good qualities and abilities. Some of them are love, compassion, goodness, dutifulness, sacrifice and trustworthiness. He or she gathers many resources like money, a good pool of competent friends, and a very good connection with god. Then, he or she does not have to be attached to any result; he or she can handle any situation, no matter how unpleasant that may appear to be. He or she will have the necessary confidence to face whatever the life throws at him or her. We become fearful because either we don’t have the necessary resources or sufficient confidence. I welcome your comments.
Bishnoi is a spiritual writer and can be reached at spiritual@ajitbishnoi.com