Anger steals valuable resources from the working memory and puts us in a fight or flight mode, says R Giridharan, as he suggests ways to keep cool
Anger is a product of a three-way interaction between the nervous system, the endocrine system and the circulatory system. Each time one gets angry, the adrenal glands get over active and release hormones in the blood stream. The aroused amygdala stimulates the adrenal glands to release hormones and once these hormones are released into the blood stream, the blood pressure as well as the pulse rate increase providing one with the energy to deal with the perceived crises. However, every such episode creates an imbalance in the body and causes long term damage.
If your anger is a longstanding one, you may require more elaborate methods to keep it under check. Louise Hay lists some very powerful methods for the purpose:
Exercise 1 — Write a Letter
Think of someone who you are still angry with. Perhaps it is an old anger. Write this person a letter. Tell them all your grievance and how you feel. Don’t hold back. Really express yourself. Use additional paper if you need it.
After you finished the letter, read it once. Then fold it and on the outside write: “What I really want is your love and approval.” Then burn the letter and release it.
Exercise 2 — Mirror Work
Take another person, or the same person, you are angry with. Sit down in front of a mirror. Be sure to have some tissues nearby. Look into your own eyes and see the other person. Tell them what you are so angry about.
When you are finished, tell them, “What I really want is your love and approval.” We are all seeking love and approval. That’s what we want from everyone, and that’s what everyone wants from us. Love and approval brings harmony into our lives.
In order to be free, we need to release the old ties that bind us. So once again look into the mirror and affirm to yourself. “I am willing to release the need to be an angry person.” Notice if you are really willing to let go or do you still want to hang on to the past.
Exercise 3 — Reframing
Reframing in another method to drain out suppressed anger. There is no absolute reality in the world, everything is subjective reality, a reality from a particular view point. Perspective therefore defuses the event.
The second step would be to analyse the event or events from the perspective of all concerned that is get into the shoes of the offender.
Is the situation relevant now?
Are the people still in my life?
Are those people having the same impact and power?
What can I learn from the event and become better person.
A good reflection is what you need to fix a volatile issue. So, tie your shoelaces and embark on the voyage towards taming the temper. Your mind and soul will talk to your body more often and pots of nectar are waiting to be served.
A more pleasing personality means more success. Robust health comes as a collateral.
The writer is an author, behavioural trainer, and sports commentator