They are educated women who have given up on their interests willingly to take care of their special children. And these mothers are happy in their lives. The only thing that they wish for is that their wards face life with a cheerful face. Deebashree Mohanty speaks with some mothers with special kids about their strife and challenges
When most of her friends are discussing about which stream their children should take up in Class 12, Anjali lokhande is struggling with teaching her 17-year-old daughter to wear clothes. “Eenu suffers from cerebral palsy since birth and is in a wheelchair. She communicates through sign language mostly although Eenu has picked up a few words like ‘water’, ‘play’ and ‘aayi’. Her favourite among theseIJ Aayi... she keeps calling my name every hour! Eenu is my first and only child and my world revolves around her,” the mother says.
Anjali is a degree holder in Commerce and was the topper of her class. She had a plumb job as a CA with a corporate company in Panvel and was earning Rs45,000 pm. Five years after she was happily married with Arun, an electric engineer, Anjali’s life took a drastic turn. “I had suffered from two miscarriages in the past, so I was very sceptical with the third delivery. But the doctors assured me that all will be well. Nine months later, Eenu came into our lives with a severe medical condition. She had seizures and couldn't control her movement. They kept her under observation for over 3 months. By then we had not heard Eenu utter a sound,” Anjali recalls her nightmare at discovering that her only daughter was suffering from cerebral palsy.
The first thing that Anjali had to let go of was her cushioned job. The second was her posh apartment at Andheri West. “Everyone would turn up to have a look at my daughter, as if she was some artifact. I didn’t want to expose Eenu to that kind of a living. We also couldn't afford to pay the high rent of the flat, so we moved out,” the 41-year-old mother says. At present, they live in a one bedroom apartment and Anjali’s daily routine looks something like this —
“I help Eenu brush, take a bath and get ready for her school. Once we reach the school, I drop her off at her class and sit inside the reception waiting for Eenu to complete her studies. We come back home by 3 pm,” she says. It’s been two years since Anjali has started working with Sevamein, an NGO based out of Mumbai. She is an active member of this NGO and has risen in ranks due to her perseverance.
“I am the assistant communications officer at the NGO which deals with disabled children. In January, I travelled to Sri lanka to give a talk about challenges that special children face in urbane societies. It was such a proud feeling,” she explains. Anjali makes it a point to come back home before 6pm because that is the time that Eenu watches her cartoon serials. “We both have a good laugh looking at Oggy fight with those cockroaches or Tom running after Jerry. Eenu has made me a strong person,” she says.
There are many mothers like Anjali, who fight challenges every day to emerge stronger and more wiser all thanks to their special children. In a recent initiative by kids fashion brand, ‘little kangaroos’ and lCmedia House, more such Mothers are honoured for their grit and determination in dealing with their disabled children. Supporting the noble cause, a heart touching film is created by lCmediaHouse, which features three mothers and salutes them for bringing up children with mental and/or physical disabilities. The video has gone viral and garnered over 5 lakh views within three days of its launch on YouTube and Facebook. The noble initiative has motivated many people and influenced many NGOs, who are approaching ‘little Kangaroos’ to work with them and help these mothers.
“I was surprised when the makers of the video approached me to be a part of their film. I didn’t think we are important people. Parthiv has born with spina bifida. At first, I had no clue how to go about things. I was heartbroken because he was my only child. We were not that well off, so that was a huge constraint as well. But one smile of Parthiv and every pain disappeared. He’s a great kid. Very naughty and extremely understanding. He is very active for his age too,” Pallavi Gokhale who lives in Panvel, says.
Pallavi passed her 12th standard examinations with flying colours and successfully completed a diploma course in Computers. “I was working with a software company as their data analyst before getting pregnant with Parthiv. My boss had granted me maternity leave and I was supposed to join back after 10 months from delivery. But God had something else in store for me,” the 29-year-old talks about her ambitions. Parthiv is now 4 plus but is completely dependent on his Mother. He needs her support for every minute thing and Pallavi is always by his side.
“My boy is my life. And I think he is much better than the other boys that I meet outside today. Parthiv has a lot of respect for his Mother,” she says. The young boy is studying in Pre Primary class at the HPC school in Santa Cruz. “I drop him to his school daily and wait outside the gate for his school timings to finish. I do some reading up during that time,” Pallavi tells you. Her husband is a pandit and performs rituals at other people’s homes. They live in dire conditions but Pallavi has never said ‘no’ to Parthiv for any of his needs. “If he wants an ice cream, he will get it. Even if it means that I have to beg on the street that day,” the sincere Mother says. Parthiv enjoys Ninja Hatori although he can’t grasp everything that is being said on the show. “After each scene, I have to make him understand what it was about. That is my most cherished moment of the day,” she says with a bright smile on her face.
The maker of this video, Dinesh Malhotra, co-founder of lCmediaHouse says he has been toying with this idea for two years. “This is a tribute to the determination of such special mothers. While most of them are aware that this challenge is life long, they take each day with so much of joy and responsibility. We discussed this idea with Arun lalwani, the director of little Kangaroos and he agreed immediately. He did not want us to get any commercial mileage out of this video. Arun just wanted us to make it into a full-fledged campaign,” Malhotra says.
Take Subi Sheikh, another lady featured on this video. The 33-year-old Subi used to reside in Nashik before getting married and settling in Mumbai. “My husband works as a night watchman at the CSS society in Santa Cruz. My son was detected with cerebral palsy from birth and since then Mohammad Shoaib is bed ridden. He is 7 years old now and studies in class 2 at a special school in Santa Cruz,” Subi says.
The talented young woman is striving very hard to help her son stand on his own two feet. “I want my Shoaib to run one day. He is a good boy and I want everything good to happen to him,” the mother who spends one hour massaging Shoaib everyday, says. She also spends one hour in making him stand in one place. “I have a hole in my heart, so it is very difficult for me to pick him up, but I am going to do everything it takes to give my Shoaib a chance to stand up,” she says. Subi has taken up a stitching job at a nearby fashion house and is widely respected for her designs and her eye for style.
“Shoaib’s school is far from where we stay. I have to wheel him for about 5 km before we arrive at a junction where I have to hire a rickshaw to drop him to his bus stop. It’s a tiresome journey but I do it happily because I get to spend so many lovely moments with my child,” she says. Shoaib and his Mom like dancing to Honey Singh’s numbers. “life is like that only - sans any meaning but peppy nevertheless,” she ends.