Indu Anand talks about realising the power of prayer, how it fortifies the mind with impossible courage, how it subdues the ego, how it steers us to the right side of things, and how it fills us with love
My experiences of the sacred have evolved and crystallised over time into the foundation of my beliefs and the most aching part of my nostalgia. I was born into an affluent, traditional and spiritually inclined Hindu family; havans were held every morning. And among all the members of our large joint family, my parents were usually the most involved in conducting the prayers.
With a tinge of guilt and regret I have to admit that I was counted first among the most truant children of the family according to the unspoken roll calls at the havan. I usually came up with the lamest excuse to catch up on my sleep instead of attending even the Sundayhavan for which we all had to be present. I must have been visited by the strangest of maladies on most Sunday mornings. My immature mind could not accept that a havan could be more rewarding than sleep. And I have not yet been able to forgive myself for passing many unkind judgments on my parents for trying to ‘inspire’ us to sacrifice sleep for the purifying rituals and divine blessings.
My father was an ardent follower of Swami Sivananda (whose message is now being spread by Swami Chidanand). Once Swami Chidanand visited our home. There was much excitement and anticipation. Even I was swallowed up by the whirlpool of activity, cleaning and purifying the house, arranging for his comforts and the comforts of his legions of devotees who would come seeking his blessings. He did not perform any miracles or magically cure the sick. But he seemed to manifest some kind of cosmic power that was almost palpable, a hint of the supernatural. I was awed by his presence.
In a surprising turn of events he aired a wish that he would like his food to be prepared by a specific person — one of my sisters. We all spun into a buzz of amazement and awe because the chosen sister happened to be the only one in our family who had become a vegetarian, that too of the strictest kind. Swamiji seemed overwhelmed by the attention and care he received. He claimed that he would never be able to repay the kindness that was accorded to him. He went on to christen my chosen sister as Annapurna, and to our continuing wonder at this given name she was subsequently drawn into circumstances where she was regularly required to arrange food for large groups of people.
My father always emphasised the importance of prayer. He used to say that those who pray and meditate receive great blessing and when prayers are offered with the greatest love for God they are invariably answered. When we pray for a particular result, say good health, we are tuning into God and invoking his blessings. Deep conviction and the absence of doubts will ensure that the prayers will work. Do not allow any negative thought to pollute the mind. Have a strong desire, maintain it and do not allow opposing thoughts to dilute it. Imagine it is God’s desire and it will come true, he said. At that time those selfless words of wisdom aroused anger and the suspicion of a hidden and unpleasant agenda.
Today I have realised the power of prayer, how it fortifies the mind with impossible courage and conviction, how it subdues the ego without hurting it, how it steers us steadfastly to the right side of things, how it fills us with love and compassion, how it never fails to instill a sense of peace. The communion with God is a reward in itself. And when prayers are embellished with the magic of intense and honest personal struggle, the prayers usually find a way to be answered.
In the winter of 1994, he told me: “You have a unique talent and unique way of expressing it. There is so much you can do better than anyone else in the world. There is much more in you than you can suppose. Remember everything great is within yourself. We have an all transcending power within us.” At that time I thought he was saying that to lure me to prayers, and I brushed it aside. Today when I have lost my parents, I remember every word of his. I dig out all his spiritual books and writings and read and follow all that he underlined for me. A lot has changed for the better and I deeply regret having been indifferent to my father’s words when he was alive.
Now I find myself telling the same things to my son and daughter. I have realised that we have wonderful power within. We have a certain light within us and whenever and wherever God is remembered the atmosphere will be blessed. I have realised that our greatest ailments are fear, hatred and ego. And diseases of the body are often borne of the mind.
Anger, for instance, is the cause of several physiological ailments. Today worry, fear and nervousness afflicts 90 per cent people. Medicines, be it allopathy or homeopathy, may cure the body. But what about the ailing mindIJ We need to transform our mind and thoughts and be positive and cheerful, not negative and cynical.
As I feel the bad phases of life come and go, I realise it helps most to be optimistic. My father’s words come rushing back to me: “learn to smile always and in all circumstances. Smile at your sorrows as well as your joys, your sufferings as well as your hopes, for in a smile there is a power of self-mastery. A smile acts upon difficulties as the sun upon the clouds, it disperses them. Keep smiling.” He marked these words from Ahana for me. I read them very often because it helps me overcome my troubles.
My father’s words and spiritual teachings have made me what I am today. His words left a deep imprint on my consciousness. First it pushed me into registering for my doctoral degree and then it developed in me the urge to work for the upliftment of girls. I started the Women’s Development Cell in our college. Now as a principal, I am driven to instill the values of prayer among students irrespective of religion, caste or creed. So I am trying to gain consensus to revive morning prayers.
I have also become obsessed with the vision and mission of Shri Brij Krishan Chandiwala, the founder of our college, ie the empowerment of women. I am striving to ensure that all girls who graduate from Janki Devi Memorial College leave as intelligent, knowledgeable, well-rounded, confident, independent, upright and compassionate human beings with regard for human values and pride, and the fire to do something outstanding in life and become valuable members of the world community.
I cannot take back the sleepless nights that I punished my parents with. Nor can I equal the infinite love they gave me. So I have taken it upon myself to try and redeem myself by following the spiritual path that was shown to me by my father. My mother was equally consumed by and committed to his thinking and way of life. Their spiritual beliefs have now become my own.
At critical moments of reckoning these beliefs have given me the immense mental strength that is required to rise above the challenges of life, to give, to forgive, to reverse the truth, to be optimistic, and to be at peace with myself. At the same time, my beliefs never fail to create a sense that I have returned to the shelter of their infinite love and invincible wisdom. And when I realise that they are no more with me I am torn apart by a pain of loss that is heightened by the guilt of all the occasions when I spurned their spiritual rigours.
I would like to end with a quote from the teachings of Swami Chidanand, which evokes the fundamentals of human life and has the power to sustain and bind communities. He said, “let your example speak more than your words. Reform yourself into what you want others to be. Practice what you preach, otherwise don’t.”
The writer is the Principal of Janki Devi Memorial College, Delhi University