In order to transform one’s mind, to settle conflicts and contradictions, one should realise the essence of patience and affection, says His Holiness the Dalai lama
It is important to understand that patience does not mean mere giving in or meekness; rather, patience is a deliberate stand one adopts to not retaliate against the harm done by the other person. It is an active state rather than a state of meekness, and in some instances, certain actions and wrongs done by others may require strong counter-measures. But even these measures can be adopted on the basis of patience and tolerance. Once you begin to realise the multiplicity of standpoints, perspectives and the complexity of the issues, there is no need to cling to one's own standpoint thinking that that is the truth.
Of course there may be instances where the two parties have diametrically opposed positions or viewpoints. For example, the dispute between the Mind-only school and the middle way (Madhyamika). Philosophers in terms of their interpretation of the ultimate nature of phenomena. What is at issue is whether all phenomena are devoid of intrinsic being or whether some phenomena do possess an intrinsic being.
Of course here, the Cittamatras take one viewpoint while Madhyamikas take another, and in some sense, these two viewpoints are diametrically opposed. In such instances, one can look at the dispute from the point of view of the purposes which the two different viewpoints serve: How one viewpoint serves the philosophical inclination of some people, and the other serves the philosophical inclination as well as the quest of other people. Then the fact that they have different purposes, and this appreciation of the diversity of purpose, can reduce the clinging to one's own position.
Conflicts and contradictions are in some sense what makes us human beings. On the practical level this issue is a complicated one. In India for example, the economic situation is very poor and very difficult, especially in the rural areas and in the Himalayan range where people depend very much on the forest for their livelihood. So,
unless we show them an alternative, it is difficult to stop these things. We have to make progress in a broader perspective because so many things are interrelated. For instance, family planning is also very important, so I think the holistic approach is necessary.
For a Buddhist student it is necessary to study these teachings and implement them step by step. The Tibetan tradition clearly practises this as we both study, and implement the teachings. Even though some may not implement it immediately, the entire plan should be made very dear: this practice is for today, this practice comes later, and so on, so that we have the complete process in mind.
Excerpts from The Transformed Mind by The Dalai lama