Despite having entered the 21st century, it is unfortunate that women in our country are still treated as doormats at all levels of society
Fighting against the atrocities meted out to women is the ‘in’ thing among the elite class in the Capital these days. Of course, there is nothing wrong in working for womens’ cause. Moreso, since it makes for a great topic of discussion as well. But the question is — should it be done because it’s fashionable to do so do these high society women really want to make a differenceIJ
On the face of it the efforts are put in the right direction. After all there are many women at all strata of the society who face abuse of some kind — mental and or physical. There are very few women in the country who have had it easy all through their life. Most have suffered some kind of abuse at some stage in their lives. let me give you an account of three women whose lives would appear to be enviable.
She is a politician, strong and well-educated. But to reach where she is today, she had to turn a deaf ear to the remarks made by other women in her family. Many called her lady with loose morals — one who was too ambitious. There were fights in her home whenever she had to travel for work. Her husband would get jealous of the men she had to meet. In office, the staff and other politicians looked at her as a prey. The notion that she was easily available became common. lewd remarks and were made all the time.
People would purposely touch her and make it appear as if it was an accident. They would hurriedly apologise. But she endured all. It is her sheer determination that she has reached where she is today. But the remarks have not stopped.
The second lady is a nurse by profession who married a doctor from her caste and settled abroad. She was forced to leave her job to look after the children. living abroad can be tough. Being away from family, friends and everything that is familiar can be traumatic. The fact that her husband didn’t treat her well didn’t help either. She had to give an account of every penny spent on household expenses. She went into depression. The husband has been trying to convince the entire family that she needs to be sent to an asylum.
The third is a story of a dear friend of mine who is being mentally tortured by her husband. Statements like ‘you are useless’, ‘you are incapable of doing anything’ are common. This despite the fact that she has studied in one of the best schools in the country.
Attempts to change the husband’s viewpoint have had no effect. Now, she only lives for her children’s future with him. She has been married for 22 years and not even once has she visited his office. The only reason why he puts up with her is because he needs to give the impression of a respectful citizen. The fact that she is good looking helps his cause.
The only way to change this present condition of the women is to change the mindset of the men. Indian men feel insecure and are mama’s babies. Women can multi-task and are capable of handling complex situations with intelligence and patience. The only way men can prove their superiority is by subjugating the woman. Beating, rapes and mental abuse are common. Being nice towards a woman is seen as a sign of weakness.
The fault lies in the upbringing of the male in our country. He is told he is superior to women and given preference in everything. The result — a man who has no respect for women.