Women immerse themselves in their romantic relationships, while men place their romantic partners and best friends on an equal but distant footing, a new Oxford study has found. The research by Dr Anna Machin and Professor Robin Dunbar from the University of Oxford studied a total of 341 people.
The women saw the maintenance of their romantic partnerships as a team sport, involving equal input from both partners with shared goals and beliefs being the key to success. Moreover, their happiness and contentment were intimately bound up in both their best friendships and romantic partnerships.
In contrast, men were found to exist at a greater distance from both of their closest relationships. Asked to score themselves against their best friends and romantic partners on a range of attributes their responses indicated that, consciously or not, they continued to act as though they were members of the dating market despite being in committed relationships.
Women preferred co-operation not competition with their best friends. They also scored their partner consistently higher than themselves, seemingly placing their partner on a pedestal. However, both sexes reported emotional extremes within their romantic partnerships, the effects of which appear to be buffered by their relationship with their best friend.
For both sexes this relationship is a vital source of comfort, stability and understanding, a refuge from the sometimes choppy waters of the romantic relationship.